Speaking My Mind: Cognitive!????? Multi-tasker!????

You go through life and make very few mistakes.

HUH?

Not possible, but at least most of my mistakes were not MAJOR, who am I kidding many were!

Then why now with Multiple Sclerosis am I so frustrated and upset with my constant grammatical and just plain wrong word usages as well as forgetting tiny words in the content of the body of the story that I try to give to you my readers night after night?

Well, today I found out that for all my education and desire to write and being of the thought process that to be good at anything including writing you must practice, practice, practice and what better way than to do it night after night like I have been doing these last several years, not to mention all those years of sporadic writings when the ideas moved me in that direction to be creative or angry enough to write those editorial comments or make poetry from family sillies or get excited with a plot for a murder mystery that hadn’t been done before but encompassed all my favorite concepts to solve the crime by my own form of deductive reasoning!

Sure I thought I had years to revisit that novel/novella that will win me a Pulitzer, nah, but pay my way for the rest of my life, nah, and perhaps sell the movie rights, who knew, perhaps? Who am I kidding?

Any-who, nope, my mind missteps has proven that time is running out for all those enormous dreams of mine to be fulfilled.

My MS brain is showing those signs of giving up on me.

Last night I wrote so many mistakes that I was truly saddened that I had not proofed it better before I published it to all of you… words were forgotten, small ones like “to, it, be, on, on, on , and on, etc…”. I also thought I wrote the word, ‘him’ but found out I instead wrote the word ‘home’.

My staccato brain is going berserk!

I only wish that you as my readers would understand that I am NOT THAT STUPID!

But I am not that bright either.

It is true I love to learn and look up things all of the time and sadly I no longer retain what I would like to daily when I do look it up it is lost… for good or until I look it up again.

I used to be a multi-tasker, but alas that is gone too.

There was a time that I was able to juggle five things at the same time and know exactly what each one was and do it well and right each and everyone of them.

And I am not talking twenty years ago just a few.

No, this is not age related.

This is caused by the MS as is my vertigo and my hand weakness in three months has diminished in strength from when I was tested on July 2 by my smiling neuro who said that about cognitive and multi-tasking today.

I wasn’t quite clear on the reasons it was happening but now I know.

Going into the sun-room away from Hubby has been the right thing to do; trying to not be too distracted, but even that is getting harder to do in this separate area of the house to concentrate on what I am doing.

I used to be easily distracted as a child but somehow I outgrew it and was able for years and years to focus; now it appears to be back in full force!

And contrary to everyone’s thinking it is not age related in my case, but Multiple Sclerosis caused due to cognitive deterioration, oh my!

Did I just say that?

So as you my readership will have to be kind in understanding my too quick to publish mistakes due mostly to try and get as many people to read my offerings before the cut off times for each season changes that deadline, it is now still before eight P.M. EST but when the clocks change next month it will go back to seven o’clock P.M. EST.

Silly for me to think like that, but I so enjoy trying to beat each days hits of how many actually read me.

Does that sound dirty?

Hope not.

It is what it is.

On that little bit of silly allow me to be the very first to wish you all a very happy good night and ask you all to kindly count all your blessings and share all your overages and we will too!

And next times please be here or be square, ya hear!