I know nothing!

Sure, you say; I can hear you all snickering, not really, but I can only imagine... you all knowing my titled statement rings true about who though, me or you, hmm?
Well, a clean slate in life, an empty vessel to fill, a blank paper?
All except the last seems familiar, hehe.
Nah, me.
As I grow older I find my knowledge is lacking in many arenas.
Missing things.
Things many might assume that once we all get to a certain age that we should know all and every obscure thingy in this universe, and perhaps further out...there!
Oh, who might think that?
No one smart enough to know better, true?
Life can shock us, even us whom believe we are savvy, shock proof.
Naiveté is not only a feature of youth, but an attribute of having been protected while growing up on the journey to a ripe old age.
In other words meaning well people surrounding us censoring our very existence with using the pretense of love, caring and concern.
When being exposed builds character and with that should also mean understanding?
 But wait!
Not me.
I visited VA hospitals as a toddler with my parents to see my brother home sick from war, and was exposed to people missing body and brain parts early on.
I worked in all sorts of professions, went back to college twice after my initial time well spent, to law courses and then later on to medical courses.
I have been a world traveler!
I have worked hard for hour and hours, a ninety-six hour work week, and traveled 3K a month all in the name of labor.
Speaking of that twenty-nine and half of that to deliver our first born... numerous surgeries and losses of babies parents and sibling.
I have lived!
But I do not want to die, yet.
Then why will I allow a well renown surgeon who studied in Beruit install a gadget into me to prevent clots prior to having my stomach basically removed!
Every time I Google the procedure it comes up with class action lawsuits!
I see the surgeon this week and the installation could be the following.
I am very high risk for both surgeries, apparently.
I am a bit frightened by the whole prospect.
But due to my enlarged liver and inability to exercise I am torn...
You know this might sound odd from this agnostic at times, considered a heathen by some, but still a born Jew, but could I have your prayers?
Please, from all of you, it could help...who knows really.
Thank you!

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