I hate...

When I do stupid things, and when I have an illness that confuses doctors so much they let its miniscule issues create havoc with my true problems not allowing for the more important ones to be noticed…
On top of my many ills that most of you all know about I have Fibromyalgia, which over the years has interfered with many other of my diagnosis’s, like my Multiple Sclerosis, even when I could not walk for six months back in 1997 and ended up being in PT, OT and NMMT, Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy and Neuromuscular Massage Therapy, for fourteen times in as many years, still it was Fibro causing it all and this all started three years after the Fibro DX.
Later on I had a good friend also involved in the Arthritis Foundation who also had been DX with Fibromyalgia that almost died, for when she was having chest pains and was in her seventies, the doctors blamed it on the Fibro; it turned out it was her heart and she ended up needing a pace maker.
This Fibromyalgia has prevented me from getting early diagnosis of my Spondylosis and five other types of arthritis…no one ever asked me about my two car accidents and my amusement park accident, one car one was as a thirteen year old passenger back in 1963 when a car backed into the passenger side where I happened to be sitting and I received real whiplash needing to wear a collar and missing two months of school and the amusement park one going down a hundred and fifty foot zoom flume ride and hitting my back and neck hard at the end of the slide causing me to be put in the hospital in traction for several days and shot full of pain killing opiates that nearly killed me and caused me hallucinations and scared my two sons, husband, Dad and a few friends! And I needed a back brace for over a year! That was back in 1983!
But no, my back issues were caused by Fibro, and once x-rayed the true diagnosis of course was confirmed Spondylosis at forty-four years old…The second car crash was in 1994 and I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia a few months later!
How odd that part of this illness called Fibromyalgia says that you also have a very low tolerance for pain… Than why when I broke my leg back in the later part of the 1990’s did I walk on it for two days while making cookies?
I had been in labor with one son for 29 and half hours yet I have a low pain tolerance?
I think not!
I do believe that I might have Fibromyalgia, or it could be when I was first diagnosed it was the newest and latest craze for Rheumatologist to name a disease that was trendy!
Who knows, and it’s not like there wasn’t a time that I wanted to be the most fashionable, hmm and in with the popular gals?
But not disease-wise, no never!
The reason I am bringing this up now, seems so silly really since I saw my Neuro last Monday and she looked at my list of comments and she said many were from the MS but many could be due to the Fibromyalgia!
I felt like shouting, ET tu brute!
I never should have told her, our relationship was pure and right and based on my one ill that she has been treating me for the last two years for me…MS!
It was hard finding a good doctor that knew for what she was dealing with; why she diagnosed my Optic Neuritis immediately and was responsible for putting me on my Copaxone injections and telling me to get those 1000MG. IV Solumedrol as fast as I could to save my sight, which sadly was not fast enough, since I am legally blind in that right eye still two years later!
Now, she may look at me in a whole new way…
Fibromyalgia is the mimic of many ills, which has caused confusion for years and years!
It’s not like I don’t believe it exists I just believe it has been known to get in the way of many more serious ills that need more immediate attention and that some delays have been known to cause death!
No exaggerations, I have heard stories!
So people beware when you get that diagnosis of Fibro; it could be hiding something more ominous… buyer of that DX beware is all I am saying… always tell anyone who will listen what your symptoms are and make sure they check for everything pertaining to those symptoms!

Moving on…
Another BIG BOO BOO and a need for forgiveness, my cognitive ability has always been in question, nothing new here, hmm?
Well, a friend, now an unfriend, due to me not her, posted an item,a cartoon really here it is if you can see it: It wouldn't transfer so I have written it here so now you know what the entire hullabaloo was about:
"Jimmy is an Atheist
He sees a friends post his beliefs on Facebook. Instead of being an a-hole he ignores it and lets them believe what they want.
Good on you Jimmy"

That, I misread as being way different than what it is as being very understanding of what is right and good with mankind, acceptance… I thought it was the opposite! And I wrote a scathing reply…
“Sad that some don't believe we live in a free country to believe however we so wish...America is for all beliefs, not just some peoples. That is why many have come here, due to religious or non-religious persecution by people who only believe their way is right and try hard to make others believe that it is the only way! I am shocked that in this day and age that an adult who has been, let's say out her state maybe even to other countries to understand the bigger picture of the whole world not just theirs could be so narrow minded! WOW!"

BAD ME!
No excuse or apology can change this…
See, my proof that speaking ones mind should be done with much forethought which as you can see I am still working on…One can only hope that I will learn from this and be more cautious in the future before spouting off my emotional reasoning’s of misunderstandings what is what!

In closing I will try my darndest to be a more careful person with more just reasoning when I speak/write to any of you… and I feel I deserve some sort of punishment for this … but what type I have no idea… perhaps some one should stop me from writing?
Nah, it is one of my last joys in life, don’t get me wrong daily I find many more… but it has to be in my top ten!

On that need for penance, allow me the bad, bad girl to wish you all a very happy good night and ask you all to kindly count all your blessings and share those overages and we will too!

And next time please be here or be square, ya hear?