Adjusting to doing what should be done...

We all have to live, right?
That is, I mean, if we are still within the realm of a viable body; which thankfully I still am and for that I am sincerely happy! Let’s face it though, its usage for all practicalities is limited by its restraints of my inabilities.
As miserable as all this is I have come to terms with the realization and reality of it all that this is what is what and there is absolutely no reason to think that I cannot allow myself to figure out how to handle this situation any differently than others that I have been in before…Now you tell me who in this lifetime has not found themselves in any type of tight circumstances on occasion, hmmm?
Besides Jack Kevorkian is dead now; sorry folks… I was sickly kidding!
As awful as I feel I will not allow that possibility to enter this strange brain flow of mine for the next decade at least.
Many are worse off than me I do know.
But, when things are going numb and your body parts are unwilling to co-operate it’s got to make you wonder…what if?
Yes, what if I was my old healthy self?
The one that is beginning to become a vague memory of my current self…
That’s right the person who went outside for fun and enjoyed the sun and surf and all outdoor games, fishing and crabbing, bicycling, boating, horseback riding and swimming and even race walking at a mighty speed of three miles in a forty minute time period!
Gosh, where is that girl, woman?
I miss her, me.
Not to be too morose but this is not who I thought that I would be at this stage in my life while so many of my cohorts are none the worse for wear.
Sure I am jealous, with each person who is my age or older than me when I see them walking or jogging past my home in the mornings…and all I can do is stare: I know that’s not polite but they can’t see me in my air-conditioned home sitting in my recliner since I can only long to be them from afar…
Heat is the enemy for all of us with MS, Multiple Sclerosis, and can be the prime cause of exacerbations of the illness.
Little did I know being out even in short spurts would cause me to have such a negative reaction and to screw up what I was trying for, to recondition my deteriorating body with a healthy regime of an exercise program.
All I can say is how can one person be so wrong.
That is actually rhetorical.
We all know when we come to ourselves and determination sometimes we don’t think all things clearly through, hmm?
I was a wee bit too Gung-ho in that I felt it was my passion to try to better myself, nothing ordinarily wrong with that concept at all...
But I must admit I do not have the team of professionals around that I did have many years ago, but that is not fair this is all my own undoing and no one else could or should be blamed for my own stupidity!
No one can know everything even about their own specific needs and deficits.
I am still learning so much, although I have been studying for maybe forty years about any ills that have historically befallen me or my family.

Curiosity, is a wonderful thing and learning should never ever stop and I am sure you all agree.
And so as long as this muscle in my head is not totally lost to cognitive misbehavior I will try harder to become a better student of my own fate. And that of the medical fate of others and make myself respectable in the thought of reasoning of not giving up and determining ways to conquer all difficulties in my life and continue with that same intensity of desire to help all others! Well, not all but as many as I logically can help, OK?

Gosh, that was refreshing to think about out loud, yep just to think with some positivity.
It gets tough thinking along those lines as many of you can relate to, too.

And so without hesitation let me leave you this evening with some more words of my wishing wisdom for all of you… take care, be well and happy with peace to all of you and yours and count those blessings and share all of those overages and we will too!

And for my own selfish sake please be here next time or be square, OK?
Thanks.