Feel?

How do you feel?
Sense, experience, suffer, undergo, be aware of, think, believe, consider, deem, and be of the opinion, suspect, touch, finger, stroke, caress, handle, ambiance, impression of that thing we all call ‘feeling’.
Do you do it with your heart, with your hands or with your emotions, may be some of the ways to truly feel…
Some days I wish I weren’t able to feel…
Pain that is and yes that is under the physical kind or even emotional type, but I am sure there is not a living soul who would not agree with that one!
To be able to not feel any hurt bodily or within the realm of the mind; wouldn’t that be great?
Although, many may say that pain in either arena gives you the ability to really appreciate when there is none at all!

Today was a painful day physically for me not the brain wave feeling one, but as you may have figured out that is what I was trying to communicate to all of you.
But I always worry when I do if I will lose your attention.
Yes, though today has been a bad one all day long on and off and I really have no idea why it has been more so than some other ones.
It started before I was to begin my exercise program even before I took my Baclofen which I always try to take before I begin since it is my anti-spasmodic that meaning it would supposedly help prevent painful spasms while I incorporate my plan.
To be honest this headache, backache, neck ache thingy did start to get bad a few days ago. You see I do also have cervical stenosis with spinal spondylosis besides the MS and so when these problems happen who knows which is causing what, huh?
I do know that exercise at least the ones that I do are not harmful to me or my already old physical problems so after the tushy rolls and belly crunches I decided to rest in between before I began the rest of my leg lifts flat on my back and then on each side and then those five pound weight lifts; all to that count of fifty reps, but in spite of the pain I must admit I completed my program and survived!
Normally when anyone starts an exercise program the soreness starts shortly after, but I am going into my second month; in fact Tuesday it will be two whole months!
And so that cause and affect didn’t make any sense to me, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t be the cause?
The worst is that nasty neck spasm that I have gotten only a few times before where, now hold on I do want to warn you this is going to be a pretty graphic explanation, are you ready? Well, when my neck goes into this weird contortion like my esophagus is going to take a left turn out of my neck, scary! And my headaches aren’t normal either, besides being a soreness in the back of my head and numbness at my temples and my eye sockets get painful almost like a sinus headache but not since I do know the difference.
Crazy!
My back goes into spasms too and thighs and the calves do have the MS hugs as well as my rib cage and upper thighs too…
Oh MS hugs definition: feeling like an elastic band or girdle is tightening around wherever it is happening got that? Ooops TMI!

Sorry, but it’s been a bad day.
And to top it all off at different times of the day I nod off and so today I tried to take a nap and that didn’t seem to help at all!
I do know that most of us MS peeps do have these things daily and so unless they trash me as a massive army like today where I think they must have some general discussing how to get Tobi to pay attention to her bodily malfunctions!
How I do try hard to distract myself like I am sure many others do.
Any-who, it is because I cannot take pain meds without them not working or causing more problems than they are worth since I have severe allergic reactions and so I don’t, got that?
Over these many years I found exercise to be the most helpful to alleviate pain but also when all else fails Lamaze breathing and pinpointing locations on the wall to stare at…has been known to help, so I recommend to try it, it couldn’t hurt.

On that note of one less medication let me please be the first to wish you all a very happy good night and to kindly ask you to count those blessings and to share those overages and we will too!

And next time please be here or be square, ya hear?