Would you believe...

Today I did not harp on my sadness, but I did awake before 5 A.M. and it was the rain that woke me, consequently I did not go for my walk. It continues to rain at this hour.
The last three days are somewhat of a blur since we tried hard to keep busy in between calling, emailing or hearing from family and friends.
My hubby and I actually completed a small project that had been scheduled prior to our sad news.

A few years ago I had hired a professional cleaning company to come and clean my sofa and chairs, and bedroom carpet all are nearly white in color; my big mistake of choice with pets, but very Florida looking.
They didn’t do a very good job at that time and charged quite a bit, and that bedroom carpet has since been replaced with white ceramic tile like the rest of the 99% of our home. After all we are in Southwest Florida, and cool floors are refreshing on your bare feet. Only our guestroom still has carpeting for those northerners who occasionally visit, and prefer that warmth on their feet when they get out of bed.

Since we are on a very small fixed income and we really are do-it- yourselfers my husband took the furniture apart and I got the job of washing the fabric and hanging it outside so it would not shrink in our dryer. All was washed at first in Woolite, but they were really too dirty for such gentle cleaning so I took a big chance and used my Tide and Clorox 2 in cold water, and it did do the job, perfectly.
Before all pieces were put back we also treated the dry fabric with Scotch Guard, at about $14 for two.

We also purchased from Joanne’s Fabrics white fleece for throws for each piece of furniture once cleaned to delay it all getting dirty again. It was on sale for 50% off, what luck, all three pieces only cost $32, and were large enough for two recliner chairs and a full size 84” sofa.
They have since been all put back together and last night those fleecy throws were quite comfy and plush under our bodies.

The rain was expected all week and by this morning our, you guessed it our rain barrel was once again full. So full that my darling actually ran a hose from it to one of our old plastic garbage cans that had had holes put in the bottom for drainage, he had to line it with heavy duty garbage bags so it could handle the overflow.
We are water wealthy now!

I had the nerve to send on my two nights ago Blog to people that I thought should know and would understand, and so far a few have responded with very kind words.
I really just thought that the clarity of writing what happened finally made me tangibly understand all of it too in some small way; and made me not beat up myself as badly as I truly felt at first that I did deserve.

The part that no one but I knows now that cannot be changed, especially by me, is the fact of the amount of time that passed from when I actually found out all of it. That is the thing that makes me unforgiving of myself. And all I can do is stress how much we all have to be so much more diligent in taking care of family and friends by just knowing what’s going on in their lives, and how they are.

Good night to all and to all I will think more pleasant thoughts since this too is something I had no control over, and all I can do is remember it all and let it go.
But never the people involved they are etched in my brain and heart forever.