Quickly I will write tonight!

To emote is more than those cute little iconic faces.

All emotions are part of us as much as our DNA is.
Why we are human beings and therefore have feelings, we are not automatons or Mr. Spock.

My fear is with my too many health issues and medications that although through with the two most significant women hormone ages, puberty and menopause I have once again become a slave to my emotions.
It tears my heart out with frustration that I cannot do it all for people who need help…
And today, at a meeting I almost lost it when discussing all that we can do but not enough in my mind.
I almost decided to quit before I began mostly due to the fear of not keeping my personal relating to the patients out of the mix.
When all these many of my ills started to mount I think with other nasty happenings, it all became a bit too overwhelming and so I quit it all; with the thinking that I couldn’t do a thing.
It’s my temperament that is at the gist of my problem and my attitude of wanting to be the best at that whatever I tackle; anything less is not good, in my strange way of thinking.

The meeting was the monthly meeting for the volunteers at the clinic.
And the discussion was procedures and information about how to handle the access of the medications for patients.
Also the topic of the move from a trailer into a solid building that was due to successful fund raising and was paid for and is undergoing renovations as I write. The hope is for this fall.
The exact date for it to be ready is an unknown factor now, and delivery of medications was of concern, but most feel that many will figure it out, so not that big an issue.

The meeting was a good one and quite informative, my trainer is the manager of the volunteers and she ran the meeting too on her birthday.

I felt that with only two accessible group pharmaceuticals that perhaps some were not included, but another volunteer felt it is only about one or two percent.
But that one medication that we could not provide for that one patient was a chemo one and even while trying more possibilities at home neither of us could locate any programs for that particular one. The client had been sent home being told that perhaps a similar one could be recommended by their doctor, to me frustrating.

And so me being me I worry if I can handle that.
I looked up emotions and to find more about how and why this particular site was a simple as is gets with what I thought were a wonderful dissecting explanations:
http://www.trans4mind.com/heart/emotions.html

But understanding and being concerned about how you may react in certain situations is definitely as different as it gets and so I found that through reading the above site there was something that could actually determine and perhaps soothe my concerns, an Emotional Intelligence Test and so I took it and asked Hubby to take it right after me.
And guess what?
I passed with flying colors and he did too! We had gotten the same response/results, which made my radar go off and so I took it one more time with different responses to see if it was not just shinning us on… and sure enough… it was way different, and not anything like our initial honest answers were, so I guess it works… but it is free and we all know that you get what you pay for and all that…so who knows really, oh well, but it helped me…

And so I decided to carry on and try my best to do the job of helping others!
Here’s the link if you too would like to try it: http://www.ihhp.com/?page=freeEQquiz

All I have to say is that I have decided to try to keep ‘my emotes’ in check and help as many people as I can with as much resources as there are for us to use there.

With that realization of wanting to be as capable as possible with helping others, allow me to be the first to wish you all a very happy good night and ask you kindly to count all your blessings and share all those overages and we will too!

And next time please be here or be square, ya hear?

PS today I received a strange call from the cancer people asking me if I had my needle biopsy. And I told them it was in February and benign. I had called them for help due to lack of insurance for the procedure and was annoyed that they called just now… well, anyway I did turn lemons into lemonade since after I told the woman why I was perturbed and she apologized. I also thought aloud what if I wasn’t so lucky and it had been cancer. I picked her brain for resources for free cancer /chemo drugs available online, since we deal with low income uninsured people. And she felt very happy to help and will be emailing me accordingly. TA DA! Not all bridges have to be burned, but I have to stop the singeing process too, everyday I do learn another thing or two… I can only hope for that!