Blocked

How many writers out there have come across word block?
Starring at a blank sheet of paper or these days, a screen, it does become frightening, especially when nothing comes into that mind of yours that is usually quite usefully stimulated by the world around you and then nothingness rears its ugly head and overwhelms you and you think you have had the most enormous hollow mind burp that makes all previous ones pale in comparison.

It is not that different from stage fright I suspect, but my stage career with recitals were way before I figured out that you should or could get scared, mine were as a mere child..
Blanking-out is not something anyone wants to do.
The best part of when it happens to someone like myself, is it is not that big a deal, since I do not have anyone to answer to or even an actual deadline and there is no money changing hands here at all for me to disappoint anyone about or feel guilty about. Nor have I not held up my end of any contract, since there is none; then why do I feel so responsible to continue to do this daily? And I appear so driven to continue…and you can bet your sweet bippee that I am going to continue…
What is wrong with me?

Listen, some days I have noticed not too many of you read what I write, but I do say that I do, do this for myself and so that shouldn’t matter but it does…why is that?
Perhaps, it is an amplified example of the child in all of us with the need to please others not just our selfish selves or...
Go with me here…a desire to be heard and feel that others care enough to listen…
Yes!
So when the day arrives that not anyone cares to read this nightly I suspect then I might feel very hurt, but will I stop?
I really don’t know for sure.

Since my concerns to be heard no matter what shall go on and maybe, just maybe I will find a way to accomplish my goal, which by the way is not only to be heard but to leave this techno diary as my legacy to anyone who cares to know how it was in the early part of the twenty-first century for a disabled, minority, who was considered over her mid-life aged. And what she thought and felt about all she personally had to deal with in her immediate realm of family, pets, love, marriage, friends, health, politics, weather, social mores and the like an individual encyclopedia of all those things from her slant on things in her five mile radius called her life!

Scary is that thingy I mentioned when I started tonight.
But again I have proven that my writing ability came about twenty years too late for me to become a writer on that blockbuster comedy show Seinfeld, which was also about nothing…my small inside joke for me.
And with that theory never ever to be realized I will more than likely be here without anymore technical interferences or natural disasters to change the outcome of this thing that I call my mind vomit, nah that’s not at all poetic or pleasant it is truly disgusting, please forgive, but probably more than accurate in many of your minds thoughts.
Although, one never knows, does one… and I can only hope that I am held in a much higher regard than I worry about…

On that not too much to think about viscose, kidding I bet all you wordsmiths knew that was a textile (cellulose made from rayon), not an appropriate analogy word but I thought I would throw it in to test you and find out if you are listening…HA the devil made me do it! What I wanted to say is that I do enjoy writing whatever anyone wants to consider this, oh that’s right one of my journalist background readers called it… get ready folks because it made me feel so great… MY COLUMN!

Perhaps, he thought it was Corinthian or gothic or one of the other columns that I studied in Art History or was that in interior design?
There’s that Norm Crosby in me taking over my word issues again…
Any-who, I’ll take it as a columnist like Geez Erma Bombeck, nah not quite there yet if ever, but wouldn’t that be something, but she never ever complained about her ills and she was always very funny if she did!I can dream can’t I?
Well, I would love to be a little a tinniest bit like that woman who I so admired, she was the epitome of all women’s humorists! I must try so much harder to find the funny more so in life… when in reality this is all rather quite amusing; just laugh folks because the joke is on all of us!
Life that is; we only get one so let's all strive to make it one big happy fun time had by all, what do you say?
We will do it together, OK?

On that positive note of our future time together let me be the first to ask you to count those blessings and to share those overages and we will too!

And next time please be here or be square, OK?


PS I guess I am not shooting any blanks tonight, words that is, and I was so worried! LOL!