Frustration is mounting...

Feelings are going so strange…
Tonight I suppose you can say I am having the blues.
My heart aches.
Desire to be me again is faltering.
I do know my limitations, and they are many.
And on goes my hearts desires thinking of when in my past that was so colorful and rich with things to do and friends to do them with; I so long for the yesterdays.

So many of my regrets of my mistakes of choosing friends has happened too many times in my history; ones that weren’t true as they should be to be considered friends; for where are they now? Run for the hills comes to mind; she needs you now!

Any relationship is comprised of give and take, but now I am unable to give wholeheartedly or even physically and that is why I have been tossed aside on the periphery of the remainder of my life by many and sadly I mourn for what was.
Uselessness is truly unrelenting and causes great emotional pain.
I know I can do so much more than scores of other people but I still know it is not enough.
Funny, my possessions are more than enough, but I am not.

Dancing with my imagery of what was saddens one’s soul to the nth degree.
We can never ever return to what was and that truth can be devastating to anyone who had hoped to.

I have been back to myself so many limitless times in my own true past it would amaze you…truly myself included in that amazement, since it is factual.

We as a family have been down to the bottom of the barrel in misery but have managed to pull ourselves up and return to some semblance of normalcy with health and wealth included in that comeback.
But it appears to be no more for me that is…
I am out of my cat-like lives.
What you see now is what you get.
Clichés be damned give me one more chance to be me, the slim trim healthy and happy one who helped others without fear or pain!
This me is not the one I so desire; what shall I do?

I so want to change back…

On this weird note of uncertainty I will bid you all a good night and ask you to count your blessings and I will begin again to look for mine…

PS Again my sleeplessness has come back, perhaps that explains this ranting of mine, so sorry folks!

PSS I did receive a reply to the question about meteorologists vs. weather people last night and yes it definitely does have to do with degrees!