Speaking My Mind: Happy New YEAR! May 2020 be all that you wish for!

Woman Screaming and Crying in Frustration While Getting ...

Let's face one specific element is that Jodie Foster is a much better actress than I!

I mean for you to go retro for a minute way back into the last century stop when you reach 1994! Yes! That was the year that the movie Nell came out starring Jodie Foster!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nell_(film) okay for me? A quick refresher course?

Any-who, my point is that on occasion I have a similar speech pattern not that different from Nell, but mine might very well be medication or MS-related since both also affect the brain.

These weird conversational missteps can be blamed on those two possibilities and so I try hard to calm whatever is going on, by drinking extra coffee, I know odd, but it has worked. Think about what they give to sober a drinker...hmm? Sometimes extra club soda helps... I am trying hard to get a handle on all this truly! I hate being incapacitated from my only at this time medications to handle my pain! NO OPIATES! Gabapentin 1500 mg. and Baclofen 80mg.and legal medical cannabis oil 1.75 daily! And yes these are the dosages I must stay on otherwise the pain returns in full force! The meds intensify Ataxia, tremors, and Nystagmus all can be caused by the MS or can be caused to intensify with some dosages of medications like mine, double-edged sword.

The pain doctor has been canceled since we determined with all my falls his RFA Radiofrequency Ablations have no way to keep up with my pain, and the only thing he had left for me was cortisone spinal injections that are directed accordingly. I was put on step-down this last time by Lynn Stengel RNP in Dr. Montoya's office my neurologist that I seem to tolerate well this time. After ten times over the years having1000 mg. IV Solumedrol usually for three days at a time and the last one sending me to the ER with very high glucose of 400 and a GFR of 32, kidney function. Both were fine after an IV of insulin, I went home. I will be seeing Dr. Montoya instead to discuss what is next for me...

So I and steroids have a rocky relationship but are given according to need, as in my cases of either optic neuritis mostly or exacerbation of Multiple sclerosis.
So NOT FOR THE FUN OF IT!

The only reason I am explaining myself is due to this horrid speech patterns of mine spilling over into my normal life, mostly on here with me writing on others' sites or postings... Nell comes out! Disconnected gibberish of speaking, forgive all.
The crazy thing is on instant messaging for texting I use the microphone and that is the worse and I send my thoughts without proofreading!
Fortunately, I use it only with Hubby, an old buddy from 8th grade as well as our eldest son... and now with that larger messaging and everyone wishing everyone else a Happy New Year I foolishly jumped on that bandwagon when my Nell was at its worse! OMG

FORGIVE PLEASE! I KNOW NOT WHAT I SAY! UNLESS I GO BACK AND READ IT! AND I COULD NOT FIND an EDIT BUTTON!
FRUSTRATING!

I do know that life goes on... no matter what, and tomorrow is a new year, not just a new day!
So I will be a different kinder gentler me...

Afterall our doors have been installed in the laundry room that was supposedly back-ordered. I found many questions about this company that I will not name right now.
This was a no-charge fix of doors that had failed and were warranty even from way back in 2005 when originally installed.
Maybe I will say nothing good not bad... a new me!

And what is it that you will be doing differently this coming year, hmm?

My proclamation for the new year... figure out as I said before which came first the Ataxia, tremors or nystagmus or the meds?
Try harder to give businesses a break when they or employees screw up by practicing tolerance.
And try hard not to correct every one of them.
Find something that gives me joy every day.
Our rescues do that although at times mischievous!
Oh, and does anyone know how to explain that my many double words and letters are due to tremors not too much ignorance of spelling as a child I was 100% in spelling...but Grammarly doesn't know that! And since I won't pay extra for the premium program their free one tells me constantly when I screwed up necessary but upsetting.
Before Grammarly, I would go back and find it, okay sometimes...no one there to tell?

Hubby is fine.
Number One Son too.
Even reconnected with a few people that had been estranged, still not younger son... I do email on occasion but never hear back. Even called not answered, he lives five hours away so we cannot go there vibrations in ten miles radius makes me bedridden for days after, heartbreaking.

Want happiness, health and continue friendships and relatives continuing seeing these wonderful people.
Or at least speak to them via technologies.
One Facebook friend actually tried to face time me, but we had taped over my camera that was recommended for safety reasons.
I must flip that tape when I know people for that is not very friendly and for that Claire, I am so sorry!
Trust issues must be also realized.
The news tells us all to be careful and you see so many having their privacy compromised.
Better I guess sometimes to shut it off.
These are fairly coherent ramblings of my clearer mind...
And thanks to minimalistic Grammarly I have been left in/and Checked
with a bit better grammatic pursuance!

So I leave you all tonight wishing us all a much better year starting only tomorrow, so we will see what we will see!
And I will try harder to maintain all the above!
Love, health, and happiness are what I wish for all of you! And of course PEACE ON EARTH!

We all...

Must achieve these goals!

Happy good night to all!