Confusion is rampant...

Craziness is not what I like to think about in life, but to be honest I think as a family unit we have been teetering extremely close to going over that edge!


Hubby’s Mom did arrive home safe but not so sound…She began crying as soon as her ‘neighbor’ picked her up at the airport! Apparently, according to the late night call Hubby received from ‘him’, we were too persuasive in getting her to make a decision about coming down here, and she didn’t want to be pushed so hard into doing that? Huh? She’s the one who chose which place she liked as the apartment, as well as writing out the check and being told that it would be ready as soon as April first! If she did not take this particular unit that she liked due to its great closet space and being on the ground floor it would probably be gone.


Consequently, after her ‘neighbor’s’ call Hubby and I were unable to sleep trying to figure out why she did that?
We are not the enemy and this is NOT what her daughter wanted for her, because that was to put her away, and literarily throw away the key and steal all her money in that process…what we want for her is for her to spend her own money on herself and live in an independent living situation with safety nets, and that they will entertain her, feed her three meals a day in a lovely dinning room with others her own age, housekeeping comes into her one bedroom apartment one day a week. She will have an emergency button to push in her home for assistance if needed, transportation to stores and outside activities, medical staff in the ready for any problems, a beauty salon, bingo etc.! As I said before I want to go there when I grow up!
Hubby sent her up to the north with a short to-do list.
Apparently, she thought it was too overwhelming to do and she freaked out!
Or so we were told.
But Hubby called her tonight and you know what?
The first thing she told him is that she can’t live by herself because she can’t remember anything…Hallelujah!
And she said that she was ready to do what she made plans for, but that is paraphrased since I didn’t actually speak to her and I am basically saying what Hubby told me.

Now the neighbor wants to help her physically move here, but that seems to me a wee bit too helpful?
Bet he’s finally getting tired of all of us trying to figure this dilemma out and seemingly hitting brick walls, with her indecisiveness, which by the way is nothing new. That problem was well established when she was a much younger woman, even some of these other issues of her finding someone to take her here and there and them paying for everything and not expecting to be reimbursed by her. Sorry Mom but that is the nicest way I can think of saying it without outright calling it what it is…sponging!

This gentleman giant, he is six foot six, neighbor of hers seems to be unperturbed by what she is doing but it still isn’t right if you know what I mean, and it is somewhat embarrassing and awkward to hear that he is constantly taking her out to eat and driving her here and there for this and that. In other words he is enabling her ability to take advantage, very nice of him, but hard to fathom, with us being all the way down here nearly 1500 plus miles away from her and frustrating too.
Anywho, after Hubby spoke with her tonight it appears to all be resolved once again, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Good night to all and to all count those blessings and we will too!

Mom has arrived back where she started her journey!

Now, for all of you wondering where that was… it is in the northeast or as we of the Sunbelt like to say…COLD COUNTRY!

Her return trip was uneventful and quicker than her original one to the south, perhaps the Gulf Stream had something to do with it? Giving the plane a bit of a push from the rear, but who really knows she is temporarily back where she was.

The plan is for her to move down with in the month, and I truly wish her and Hubby the best of luck in making that happen, do we all believe it’s possible?
Clap your hands if you do, or no, that’s for fairies, that is if you believe in them, hearty
har, har… so they say, harrumph, hee, hee, hee…

So sorry, but we all have a history together that does not allow for things to work out exactly as we all hoped they would, and unfortunately promises have been broken before.
Bummer babe tonight, or is it called being realistic?

To be fair she paid her ticket and if she doesn’t come down she will loose a few thou, but in the past a threat of that possibility was just enough to get the woman moving in the right direction.
Why I can remember after hospitalization for colon cancer way back in 1986, she had prior to it made a deposit on a cruise, and she made sure that she was able to get out in time to go on that cruise after five weeks of hospitalization for fear of loosing her deposit, which was considerably less than her most recent one for her new home! She even had enough time to make it to my Dad’s funeral then before the cruise left, what a woman when motivated, eh?

And so I will let it be for now, after all it is not for me to decide any of it or about anything about it; whatever that means. Its times like these that my jealousy factor of people having their parents around to complain about is not anymore going to be a problem for me. You see since mine both died when I was younger, in my 31st year for my Mom, and 35th for my Dad, when my friends would complain about their growing older parents doing this or that I would lament: “at least they are here!” For now I am of the belief that it was a godsend that my parents had the forethought to pass away when I was young enough to handle it, and not allowed to complain at this current age I am today as so many of my contemporaries do today about this or that. It is true I have had friends with horror stories of parent’s with Alzheimer’s, but one that has complained about her Mom of nearly 106 years old, and she wonders why the woman is still alive, although she ran out of money trying to take care of her, and now the woman is a ward of the state?

I suppose there is no winning with any of this… horribly ‘Solent Green’ comes to mind, you know the one… that Charleston Heston flick with them turning the elderly into a food source?(Speaking of Solent GREEN, Happy St. Patty’s Day; I do know that it has nothing to do with the holiday today but it had GREEN in its title so it did remind me, get it? That's because of my weird sense of humor, sorry, really sorry!)
Just kidding folks! Not my solution, by any means.
But unless you age gracefully, slenderly and healthy with no emotional or mental issues, no one does though as we all know, you may as well take the quick way out? NAH!
This growing old thing has got to stop.
I do know that medicine has come quite far on the matter.
You know that you can order a tuck here a pull there a tie it up there, but as far as the brain goes, contrary to the latest medications none came completely close enough to make you anywhere as sharp as a tack, as we used to say!

Fantasyland in the aging wars, illness is not the only battle in life.
But if you are old AND sick... then you better watch out world nobody wants to handle that!
Too hard!
But we all must, since we are our brother’s keeper, sister’s keeper, Mother’s keepers, Fathers keepers, and on and on and on… and on we go, and so peeps we must find the CURE for old age and all the ills of the world too!

Good night to all and to all count those blessings and we will too!

Many have tried but not many have succeeded...

What you ask?
Survived a rear end collision in a grocery store, but of course!
Intriguing you yet?
Well, perhaps I need to explain?
This morning brilliant fun woman here thought wouldn’t it be great to have corned beef and cabbage for dinner tonight, since Mom will be leaving tomorrow, and yes tomorrow is St. Patty’s Day, and no, none of us are Irish.
Let’s go I said and sure enough everyone was game for the outing.
And so of course we all went.
My idea also was for Hubby’s Mom to try out the free scooter the grocery supplied to see how she liked it and managed it, a large area enclosed no car traffic, not such a crazy idea, or was it?
Mom was content to do her usual holding onto the shopping cart, but no…I was insistent that she try her hand at maneuverability of their scooters, insistent in fact I would say that I was down right persistent! Ooops, my bad, big time!
We lined up like a train with Hubby in the front, Mom on the borrowed one in the middle and me on my own at the caboose bringing up the rear… not too shabby an idea and she seemed to be enjoying the silliness of it all.

The first hazard was hit down the mouthwash isles sharp curved exit lane Mom bumped the edge of the end cap with a not too bad one, and I yelled reverse and she did!
She made a wide turn and proceeded to take an outside lane that threw our procession into disorder. Then it was only a short drive to the cash registers which we took the non working ones to get in front of the one Hubby was checking out of, well I stopped before his exit lane but by now Mom was behind me and…SHE DID NOT!!!! She thumped into me not once but thrice and in the process removed the little basket on the checkout of the one next to Hubby’s that holds the plastic bags for the bagger where they ask paper or plastic! She was crazed and could not stop; back and forth she went hitting the empty lane and me too in the process! Finally I yelled GET OFF! Because telling her to let go of the hand release was not working, it was a mess, and all my stupid idea! She got me thrice in the left shoulder blade, and I thought I was definitely a goner, for sure.
Another one of those times that I should have listened to the person’s insistence that they didn’t want to do it because they were afraid they would bump into things…how providential of her, eh and wrong of me?
I turned after she hopped off of the bucking bronco scooter of hers and said in low tones almost inaudible, so glad you don’t drive a car anymore!
And guess what Mom I think a scooter would be a bad idea, you should ask the doctor to write a prescription for a walker with a seat, so much safer for you and the world at large!

The pain lasted for hours, I did rest and take aspirin with my stomach medicine, wow what a combo, but it’s what I had to do.

Excitement is all but a memory, and hopefully this pain will diminish more tomorrow or maybe be worse? Who knows…?

Good night to all and to all count your blessings and we will too!

PS Dinner turned out great and was delish!

The sweet smell of 'Success!'

Signed sealed and almost delivered!
Mom has made the decision to change her life for the better, yea!
We are so happy for her.

The day was racked with anticipation and hopefulness, Hubby and his Mom went out to take care of the preliminaries minus me, by my request. I was physically and emotionally exhausted and besides, I’m only a daughter-in-law not a daughter and so that should at the very least be a Mom and son thing without interference from an interloper, have it be a long time only related by-marriage one that is 39 years worth, but a non-blood relative just the same.

It was my excuse to take a break from the weariness it all exerted, and by the time they returned I had been renewed enough to participate in the finale of the signing of the lease!
We celebrated up front by going to a Chinese buffet for lunch that we all enjoyed.

Then on to the new home of Mom’s to sign on for her new adventure!
From there I scootered across to the shopping area where the outlet store is, and where she got her haircut, and indoor pool facility, etc. etc. etc. Mom’s got it made in the shade as they say, and what a gorgeous day! But Hubby drove Mom by gas transport and guess what… I beat them there! How about that?
We were there for a purpose to exchange my blouse that didn’t fit, and I did get another that should, actually haven’t tried it on yet but it is the same manufacturer as the other two I got last week and the same size too. Mom wanted to get a gift for her neighbor and she couldn’t find one there but there were more stores in that realm of the shopping promenade an international type that she found him the perfect gift, I won’t reveal it in case he is reading this…

The evening was a catcher ketch can snacking type meal plan thing since both breakfast and lunch were living large and quite filling, and so this and that sufficed for this last meal of the day.

On those informative words I will bid you all a very good night and to all count those blessings and we will too!

QUIET! Hush you!

Did you hear what I said?
Lower your voices please.
Today we made it our quiet day.
Mom woke up fairly late at 9:30 A.M., me too just after the new time of eight o’clock, but you do know that last night was Daylight Savings Time, and we sprung ahead an hour?

Hubby took her over to church just before eleven A.M. when her mass was.
And we went into our cleaning mode at his return.
Laundry was done, but only two loads, vacuuming and dusting too.
A quickie fix up.

Tomorrow is the day my Hubby is taking his Mom to get herself well into the process of making the BIG MOVE HERE, to the bank then to the independent living facility to sign on the dotted line!
We think, or hope (it better be, this is too exhausting) for her sake she does anyway…
Lately her facial expressions have left us unsure of what exactly she will do when down to the wire and the final absolute decision will have to be made.
But knowing her she most definitely will try to fight it.
All Hubby has to do is confront each and every one of her worries or arguments with logical solutions, I wish him luck…
Since this is the part of the whole project that I feel he should take upon himself to do without my interference; after all she is his Mom!
I know he can do it; he is her son, which makes him stubborn too!
Hopefully a wee bit more stubborn than her.
This may become a Mexican Stand Off though, and I don’t think I am up for watching any of that.

The weather has become what we famously have been known to brag on, sunny and dry with a balmy breeze to titillate the senses, this is the Florida I know and love, welcome back dear old friend!

On that pleasant note I will wish you all a good night and to all count those blessings and we will too!

This is going to be a shorty because it is late and I am...

Do you want to know what I am?
Well, I am tired.
Why am I tired you ask?
I will tell you why I am so tired…Because it was an up and down busy happy, fun and rather sad day.

Our number one son arrived before the noontime he said, which was great!
And after a little of this and that and introducing us to this mysterious woman of his that he has been dating for over a year, and the usual tour of the compound we moved on to our days plans; the Seafood Festival!

And we went in separate vehicles since ours is not enormous we have so many walking tools in it, and so number one and his gal pal took their own transport.

We got lucky and after we went through a detour we found a handicap spot fairly pronto.
The idea was to wait for them to meet us where we arrived, and they did at the public bathroom for me, no toilet paper in the handicap one but I had tissues, wow, can you imagine? Not nice at all.
Then our across the canal neighbor called us while we were at the festival to let us know that our extremely ill neighbor had passed away last night, how truly sad.

Anywho, the next dilemma was the terrain that had been well rained on and left gullies of unearthed mudden patches that had my scooter spitting up splashes all over the place even at slow speeds, and I was cursed at by many people there. But I feel the parks commission was at fault for not taking care of this always problem long before I got my scooter!

We ate and looked around and came home, basically that was it. We had homemade fruit salad, and snacks between meals and ordered pizza to dine on for dinner.
Pleasant conversation ensued and it was wonderful to see our son that we hadn’t seen in four whole months! His girlfriend was warm and friendly and very intelligent.
And they left just a short while ago to go the two hours home.

Mom and Hubby are waiting for me to finish this so we can watch a short movie tonight, 89 minutes for the PG movie called, Shorts, since after all it is movie night peeps!

Good night to all and to all count those blessings and we will too!

PS I guess this wasn’t that short after all was said and done.

Another showing another liking...

As luck would have it the rain decided to come today, our going out day!
But although we did what we planned the wetness did not put a damper on Mom's feelings about this project of ours...

Mom seems to like this one (the Royal Palm) better than the one we took her to Wednesday.
It is very similar to the other independent living place but has alternative living situations just in case.
Yep, in case Mom goes to the hospital for some unknown ills or forgets more than she already does they have an arrangement for that, living arrangement that is, assisted living that would be. That lifestyle change is only across the hallways to the other apartment towers, and on minimal notice you can be moved there if so needed, and moved back to independent if you so wish to have that once again, musical lifestyles, wow what a concept!
Of course for that ability the cost of this place is a bit more expensive, about eight hundred more a month, but as we have said before Mom has the financial power for either.
And so we are hoping against hope that she will be able to make that final one that is decision, before flying home next week… we will see… Hubby feels certain it is a done deal.

Our eldest, number one son, that we initially said would be visiting us yesterday had called prior to that to inform us that Wednesday night he would be working very late and so he postponed until this weekend, and he called a little while a go to tell us he would be down tomorrow with his girlfriend that we still haven’t met, but happily now will!

What most likely will happen we will have some ideas of what to do, there is a Seafood Festival at the waterfront park and we will probably go there for what they have to offer?
Who knows for sure, we are open to anything.

That’s what I like about this age in life… we are flexible, not in our bodies of course since that is no longer bendable at all! But for our mind’s sake we are more unbiased than ever about how to spend our days especially our weekends that are actually endless and day less, since we are that ‘R’ word, RETIRED, and the week and weekends are basically all the same to us!

How extraordinary it seems to me that we have this time of our lives to do what we want whenever we care to or want to do anything, did I just speak in forked tongue or was that circles; like in the circles of life…ho, ho, ho, ha, ha, ha, eh?

On that odd note… good night to all and to all count those blessings and we will too!