Thursday, May 16, 2013

At a loss...



Talking to one’s self on a regular basis is great when it comes to pep talks, as long as it is done by thinking it in your head or saying it low enough that no one else can actually hear you… but when you start doing it above a  decibel that is audible by anyone in a twenty foot radius than you got a problem, hmm?
Is this a unique problem?
Or do others suffer from this same oddity of trying to keep everything straight in their head, therefore their brain to remember what they are doing or have to do?

Once, when I was in my gas efficient indoor battery operated vehicle in the grocery a couple of years back, Hubby, and I split up in the store to make the task go faster and I went down an aisle to look for, gosh I don’t recall, but instead of mumbling under my breath like any normal human being might I found out that I said my more than audible utterance loud enough for an elderly woman to smile at me and say, “I do that all of the time!” Playing the innocent, not really, but for story telling effect, let’s pretend, I said and “what’s that?” She said, “Talk out loud to remember what I have to do.”  I smiled and she smiled back, actually who knows if she did, but that’s my nice touch; it was too long ago to remember, really. Perhaps, if I said it loud enough after I might have?
But with that kind woman’s words I no longer felt ‘crazy’ for doing that!
And, ya know, ever since, when I do it, I own it and I do smile if caught!

Although, as a student in NYC back in the late 1960’s I can recall being told by a savvy friend who feared nothing with her little tricks of survival in the BIG CITY, especially when walking to the Port Authority, like many of us single young women did to catch the bus home to NJ. Even then parking in Manhattan was ridiculously expensive!
She suggested when you see any people, male or female that scares you just start talking to yourself or move your lips as if you are not all there, and lean on an angle when you walk. Geez! Today, with our knowledge of the mentally ill and us knowing to be much kinder and politically correct, no one would ever assume that a person with a mental illness who spoke to themselves and walked on an angle was actually dangerous? Wait, sure we would and we do, sadly, but at least now we understand why?
And the other trick/hint for survival was to always talk to an elderly woman while waiting for the bus, no one bothers them! Whoa! That sure has changed too and I could be almost considered elderly myself and I would now wonder why some kid was talking to me if I didn’t know them, should we trust them or not would be going through my mind?
I suppose, times change a bit…and sure, I am at the other end of that perspective.

Oddly enough when I became middle aged, in my forties, I coveted a job where I had to travel alone, becoming a district manager who had employees in five different counties in Florida stores that I was in charge of, an international environmental safe products company. I had to drive three thousand miles a month and stay on occasion at hotels all by myself, eat out by myself, etc. For me it was not what I was used to I had always before had jobs that I came home at night, or even one with a home office and three were in partnership with my husband. So now our sons were older seventeen and twenty-one and Hubby was slowly lessening his own business hours while attending the Police Academy so that concern was behind me for their care although I called every night I was gone and even had a bag cell phone then, actually it came with my 1993 brand new Saturn. But we had one before also of the bag type, powered via cigarette lighter variety.

My boss, a woman who was in charge of the state managers for the company told me when in a hotel by myself, although, she said Hubby could come, the company paid, with if he wanted to, he was way too busy and the boys needed someone there,  anyway, she said I should put the chair from the room desk, even with double locking the door, deadbolt and chain to put the desk chair under the door lock like they do in those movies we always see them doing it (and the chair seems to not work, ever notice that, just thought of it now.)
Any-who, I did it in the beginning, but somehow as months and years went on I forgot and nothing happened thankfully!
Lucky, perhaps, who knows?

Dear me, I have gone on way too long, perhaps I should have told myself that out loud, ha! Now this was a bit of a tutorial of when you or someone you know thinks that you or they are acting dotty for saying what you are thinking… relay my reasoning to them and another plus is if you have a blog to write about it on as if your memory counted on it like… we are all moving closer to our real ages! Ha, I bet you thought I was going to say something different... let’s say… on that note of a bit of silly allow me to be the very first to wish all of you a very happy good night and ask you to kindly count all your blessings and share all those overages with you know who and we will too!

And next time please be here or be square, ya hear!?

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