Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Clear-cut...



As I grow older, in life that alone is as ridiculous a statement as any, where else would I grow old, in death, I think not!
Any-who, I am learning daily that nothing is as simple or as clear-cut as one may think.
Tonight, for example, someone asked what people in our little secret group that discusses our chronic ills if any of us felt more like victors or victims. (Please now I am not telling tales out of school or naming names… Just generalities.)
Too simplistic and there is no right answer as of yet.
Most in that train of always thinking adults said as we all know that no one ever, with a chronic condition wants to feel or wants anyone to think that they are a victim, Geez that’s a given with just about everything. Although, I suppose some crave that negative attention.
But any illness that has no cure, as most referred to can’t be considered to be a victor of that disease either, until it is gone off the radar and is finally CURED!
It’s the same way with people’s takes on their own life’s issues, including how they approach their health regime or for that matter anything.
Many, won’t admit it outright, but subtly recommend to others that their way is the better choice in dealing with an ill or particular problem caused by an ill or a situation.
Sure, we all know they mean well.
And again, they are speaking from their particular vantage point and of what works for them or what their needs might be at that particular stage of their health or life experience in a similar situation or lack there of.
I have also found that many who chose certain methods to treat their chronic ailment or problem even if it is not working for them they appear to have the idea of no matter what, they are going to continue in that mode as if they have a life sentence decreed by a court of law and not by what their own health issue is telling them? In other words, if it’s not working… FIX IT, I say!
Baffling.
After last night’s kindness how-to, I feel that my hands are tied to intervene, but isn’t it like a child picking up a loaded gun and shouldn’t we all be our brothers and sisters’ keepers, when their life is at stake? I suppose with acquaintance adults we have no other choice than to be polite and say great. It’s their lives.
Gosh, when is it really none of our business?
Why my chat was with a very nice person who assumed that I needed to have what they had, but their circumstances are more severe than mine, and this is proven by their diagnosis!
We have different types of  MS and hers is much more in need of additional equipment, while yet, I do not need her suggested item so far… I am over supplied by some standards, many may think… Let’s take inventory; I have several canes, at one time they were my fashion statement, two walkers, one standard metal no frills issue and the other, fancy with a cushioned seat with a compartment to stow things below, an electric/battery scooter, and one wheelchair! All bought new and paid for out of pocket. Too much to think about at this time… and I should thin the supply, but not quite ready to donate, but hopefully soon.
I responded that for her that piece of equipment was appropriate, yep, not supposed to say that, but she started it with suggesting I should use what she had…
You see it is more than likely my own fault for relaying what happened to me yesterday at the rehab and yes, I went again, good for me!
Anyway, I did do ten minutes on the manual arm cycle, three more minutes than last time, hopefully I will be wearing sleeveless blouses before the summer is over…but then Hubby and I did the slant board all by ourselves, which was fine and the transfer went well.
My new way of attacking this manual machine, pushing with your legs in that slanted lying down position was determined that two sets of twenty-five with a few minutes rest in between to be a better idea. Did it! But getting off I collapsed and I told her this, but some how with Hubby’s help and my own strong will I did make it back into my wheelchair!
Oops, probably should have kept that one to myself.
I too have after all these years of dealing with people with ills, forty years of volunteering on and off, and taking classes to help myself and others as well as experiences of being in PT, OT, NMT fourteen times and I even was a volunteer for a few months in the same rehab where I am going now, during a wellness period, not counting when I taught Aquatics in their indoor pool for a couple of years… and being in management for thirty-two years and training people etc. I do have a tendency to tell people instead of listening to them.
No excuse, but it is what it is…
So to tame that in me it needs time.
But what do you do when others assume they know what YOU need.
I know excuse yourself or change the subject, gotcha! (Wink)
On that note of being allowed to be whom you really are has nothing to do with a standard that others may feel is the only way… wiggle room for all ideas is what we should understand that we all know what is right and true if we have any brains in our head and should realize that personal experience is one of the best teachers and we all should be respected for sharing that… and also to understand that others who don’t want to change and feel that you are the stubborn one than we have stalemates, sadly, so leave it alone.
In closing all ways should be examined, in my opinion, and no one way always works in reality.

We all need to know that it is okay to think how we think because we are who we are… and that is a very good thing! Another good thing is allowing me to be the very first to wish all of you a very happy good night and ask you to kindly to count your blessings, and share those overages with you know who and we will too!

And next time please be here or be square, ya hear?!

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