Friday, January 18, 2013

Enemies...?


Can we ever be our own enemy? First let’s define the word, ‘enemy’. An enemy is an opponent, adversary, foe, or rival. Logically to be one’s own enemy would be considered counter-productive, since in the long run one who has too many enemies must feel that they are the only one who they can count on in the end, hmm? Sabotage is not a good thing. What is the true meaning of sabotage: to damage, disrupt, interfere with, harm, incapacitate, or impair. Then why would a person with this knowledge of its ramifications of its affects do it? Can one do these things without malice of forethought? What is the meaning of malice: hatred, spite, malevolence, meanness, nastiness, cruelty, wickedness, and mischievousness. And while I am at it, what is the meaning of forethought: consideration, foresight, prudence, planning, anticipation, or precaution. Now that I think I have found out what I am talking about by explaining it to myself what each of my concepts means individually… let us know what the true meaning of individuality is: independently, alone, on your own, by yourself, separately, in isolation, in person, personally, one by one, on a case by case basis, on its own merits. Okay, concept is such a vague term, perhaps we should clarify that too, concept: idea, notion, thought, perception, impression, conception, theory, model, hypothesis, view, or belief. Where was I? Oh that’s right could one sabotage oneself and become ones own enemy with malice of forethought with only using an individual concept of being not trusting of anyone else? Ta DA! I would think so! What would you do? How does one regain trust of others and themselves? Hard to answer, and if anyone can tell me, please do. I have not heard back from the woman who was going to help me with the co-pay on the surgeries. Hubby’s not happy pushing me in the wheelchair, since I am too difficult to push up the ramps at Fishville being so fat and him with a bad back and I talk too much to others when we go out, which makes him feel like an inanimate object and I feel wonderful to be out and about meeting people so I do talk quite a bit. (This just in: the event center ramps are not too bad to push me up.) The fat I tried hard to do something about, but I cannot seem to have anyone want to help me, even a doctor said there is nothing that can be done with all the medications that I am on… but with too many surgeries that I need I cannot even do simple exercises without causing more problems than not with my hands and shoulders. Getting overheated causes exacerbation of the MS… and as far as my incessant talking goes…I do have a problem, but even when home, Hubby barely talks and so I look forward to going out, which now I do believe may be curtailed due to what I just mentioned. And so I am very, very sad. And yes, I have no friends that wish to visit here. I have scared people away and no one seems to want to come over here just to sit and talk. It is times like these that I wonder if there is anyway to rewind my life and all my mistakes that got me to this point. Guess not. That is called a reality check. A late update for that free clinic that I was told they would call back in November to see if I would be able to help out in their new facility they never did. I do believe it may be because I did not respond to my invitation in October to their ribbon cutting of their new facility and the incident with their physician, the one I called a modern day Marcus Welby M.D.(he also volunteers at the free clinic) and the bill at the health department that was way higher then ever before $130 of his! Any-who, those people are much wealthier than I too and kept sending requests to me to buy bricks for their new building starting at $150 to $500 and as we all know that was not in my ability to pay and so I did not belong with those people anyway. I suppose they are from the old school where just the wealthy should volunteer not the regular people who just want to give time and would give money, but don’t have that much to spare so they just thought they could help by being there... oh well… I am in no condition now anyway, see some things happen for a reason. Like not having any grandchildren that I so wanted, now with these ouch arms, how would I hug them? See, for the best. I couldn’t run after them or play even board games with them…reaching and moving arms, hands… yep pain, for the best. My old fallen away friend from the Arthritis Foundation who had all that Rheumatoid Arthritis used to tell me once her bones twisted or were replaced the pain was initially gone, she had nearly thirty joint replacements, having it for over fifty years and a few times for each of her major joints like hips and knees, that bionic woman, my amazing bossy little friend. I could no longer help her, see for the best. Other people I knew were also amazing through organizations and relatives too...many are too far away and some are just alienated … what a mess! If only rewinding was possible… if only…but it is not. On that pity itty non-party of this gal… and shut-in at times with cabin fever! But Hubby just said yes to go to events at the center so YEAH! I’ll be there, and I hope to see you too! But please forgive my incessant talking, you see it is the only part that doesn't hurt and still works sort of... On that wacko night’s dissertation, allow me to be the first to wish all of you a very happy good night and ask you kindly to count all your blessings and share all your overages with you know who and we will too! And next time please be here or be square, ya hear?!

Speaking My Mind: Which way will the war go?

Speaking My Mind: Which way will the war go? :   My eyesight is going again... in case you missed it... Netanyahu snaps back against growing...