Sunday, January 15, 2012

Trying hard to figure out why some feel the need to volunteer when their hearts really aren't into it...

Today was another one of those quiet days which with all my thoughts and overtiredness causing me to want to talk to someone knowledgeable and perhaps helpful with intelligent feedback.
Unfortunately, the call I placed for just that sort of thing to a well renowned organization for supposedly that purpose with 24/7 availability did not provide what I needed…
You see, in my desperate attempt to micromanage my healthcare so that Hubby never feels that we would jeopardize our home and lives; I have become my own advocate and negotiator for all things, i.e. treatments and finances to keep them within a doable price range that we can handle without losing our essentials.
I need peace of mind for less stress and it’s the least I can do for him, and I don’t want to ever be classified as a burden. Not that he would ever call me that, at times I naturally feel that way though.
He is insured and I am not and that is as simple as I can explain it. But he too needs medical care for a specific non insured issue that he refuses to allow me to discuss here, but with that said, my expenses have denied him that to be paid for due to my exhausting popping up and continuing medical costs out of pocket, although manageable from month to month, and I feel very bad a bout that. Sadly, when we get close to paying off one thing, something else comes up needing to be taken care of and so it does never really end. And his need gets pushed back time and time again.
It’s true that this whole business of trying hard not to cause us to become homeless due to my never ending ills is quite time consuming and does keep me busy sporadically!

While most retirees our ages are looking for their next vacation destination, we have to not leave far from our home, since we are obligated to pay my way with medical bills!
I suppose I am a burden, and sometimes I wonder why I bother with any of this.
Oh, I do want to live as long as I can, but some days I do wonder if this is living.

Back to that so-called supportive phone call, the woman to whom I spoke was supposedly an ear for people with concerns of health issues and financial difficulties trying hard to find agencies for help with those bills. She did not seem to be listening and yes’d me to death, yep literarily! I said something that I only half believe that being uninsured makes most think I am poor, which we are not, while not rich but we do manage ok and I said that poor people without insurance I guess just all die from illness and she agreed.
But my caveat to that statement in recent years that I too have been in this position is that sometimes even the Ted Kennedys in this world with all the best of everything available in healthcare, still, sadly die.
Now that is not a consolation to anyone, since I did like the man in spite of and looking past Chappaquiddick nightmare for all, he did many good things after that and for most of us who had no recourse in the health game.
And sorrowfully his gauntlet was not retrieved to continue what he really started and wanted for all Americans.
But this woman, my call again, was either bored or not really there for me or exhausted, and she did admit that she was not a volunteer after all but an actual paid staff member, which meant to me that someone was not getting their monies worth from this gal!
Harsh, no I needed an ear to hear me with expertise on how to handle my unique to me situation, and she flunked royally! I politely hung up.
Complaining and waiting seem to be my mode once again, and am truly sorry if no one out there enjoys to listen to this, but until I resolve this or die trying…I will be here with my own personal follow-ups, okay, or not…

Any-who, allow me to wish you all a very good night and to kindly ask you to count all your blessings and share those overages and we will too!

And next time please be here or be square, ya hear?

PS I fear for my sight too lefty has been misbehaving devilishly with his own lacey dances and floating ghosties, not the kind of entertainment that righty patched eye needs right now… You see, righty depends on lefty to see for both of them, ha!

Speaking My Mind: Which way will the war go?

Speaking My Mind: Which way will the war go? :   My eyesight is going again... in case you missed it... Netanyahu snaps back against growing...