Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Have you ever?

What?
Oh, my question; have you ever wondered about the meaning of your life.
Life is hard for most all of us at any given moment of the day.
If it is not physical pain it might be emotional pain.
Tight spots in life occasionally make us wonder what to do, and sometimes… there is no answer.

Times of the day, week or year can be tougher than others and we mostly have to try harder to readjust to those periods of circumstances, with our way of thinking about them.
Futility, uselessness, pointlessness, ineffectiveness, ineffectuality, vainness, senselessness can all be rampant too.
In the reasoning of not knowing that the answer is actually, none.
But what’s the question?
Oh, that’s right, what I mean to me in my own life and what that life means to others in the broader picture of the world.

Are we just blips in the time continuum being only one in seven BILLION?
The average life expectancy has increased, but in reality, what does that mean?
No one really knows how long they are here for, hmm?
Again, I am referring to that bus concept again with the healthy person crossing the street and getting hit; way before they have fulfilled their life expectancy age.

Sure it is hard, some days more than others.
Today has been one of those for me; emotionally and physically, a not too good a day.
But there is no one to complain/confide to/in, you know.
Everyone has their own things to deal with.
Gosh, Mom is gone for ages and I alienated all my BFFS long ago.
Don’t get me wrong, in my mind it was for very good reasons.
I was tired of not being told the truth or listened to when I needed their support like I tried to give to them and I never ever lied to them either.
Yep, mostly it was my doing, and a few were mutual decisions.
It’s times like these that I miss that unique familiarity that gal pals have with one another, different than with a husband or parent.

The day was rain free and sunny, which logically should put a smile on anyone’s face, but between the blues and physical problems … although, looking outside does give a smirk to my down turned mouth; it is a shorty in its arrival, the mini smile, and soon departs none the closer to making any of this life seem what I try to sell to the world to do nightly here… I feel so ashamed with that admittance. Well, though, I always feel that telling the truth is one of the utmost of importance and so why would I lie to you?

I am very surprised that I am still sitting here, since that is one of the many unhealthy problems I have been having today.
Originally, I was going to make this brief and just say that I was not up to snuff tonight, and beg your forgiveness and get into bed again.

It is only a bit after six P.M. here, and so I felt to try to stick it out a wee bit longer.
Knowing me, if I fell asleep I would be up in the middle of the night, without the ability to fall back to sleep.
So here I am, telling all of you my problems ala carte that you are all way too familiar with, ha, that’s what friends are for?
But I have a bone to pick with you, since you rarely share.
And when any of you do it is so hard to not worry about you too…
Which brings me to my friend whose son died and she told me how and why.
He was just thirty-seven and he apparently had had sleep apnea and died of a heart attack in his sleep!
How sad, truly so sad… and this young man had just completed his courses to teach here in Florida and was so looking forward to that, a good decent person and so young…
See, nothing we could do, now or then, since it was undiagnosed; heartbreaking.

Puts my stuff in perspective and makes me feel so very foolish… since I am ALIVE!

And so on that note… of hope… I hope that you will allow me to be the first to wish you all a very happy good night and to ask you to kindly to count all your blessings and share those overages and we will too!

Next time please be here or be square, ya hear?

Speaking My Mind: Which way will the war go?

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