Tuesday, July 12, 2011

How do I follow my last night's rant?

Shall I follow it with a sequel?
Nah, you don’t want that, do you?
And in actuality that would not be true, since I am a bit better than my hellish day of my recent past of yesterday.
Not to say that I am all good, who is ever, really?
I am just not as bad.

Would you care to know the gory details?
I can’t hear you…
And so I will take that as a yes and tell you as much as my law of allowance will permit…which is usually TMI! LOL!
Here it goes… I cannot stand for long at all, minutes it seems now is only what can be done. My neck and shoulders feel like they will implode into one another whether I sit here or over there, got that?
Lying down is difficult too. Dizzy is my middle name.
Ahhh, but I don’t believe it is another exacerbation so soon after the other, not when I am on the wonder drug Copaxone!
Crazy, that the gnats are back and floaters too with my eyesight, both eyes, even my right illegally blind eye, yep I know it’s supposed to be legal, but really I believe that it is illegal to have this problem by all who do have it. And I do think most would agree if they could see this!

Any-who, life does go on with or without my input, I will reason since it always has.
My self imposed to-do list of today was not completed.
It is something I did when I stopped working outside of the home all those years ago.
I made myself, oh ok pushed myself to complete certain things within the day that needed to be done, so even though by many standards I was a bum I would be a self accomplished one who fulfilled tangible daily tasks in a form that made me imagine myself as not being useless.
Since this little thing of illness has taken over me at times so totally it appears that my concern for accomplishment has seemed to have waned and dwindled considerably.
Being just the two of us these days and since Hubby’s been retired nearly these last five years my priorities have changed. Our sons have been grown and gone on their own since 1995! And so why should I be so concerned daily with this or that, hmm?

And Hubby’s recent ills too have made us both change our priorities of what needs to be done or what has to be, got that?
Priority, now that’s an interesting word…of main concern, precedence or right of way.
It has been in my observance over these many years how this too can be quite a significant way to figure out or not really figure out people’s character, huh?
When we lived in NJ we had an area not far from us as many places do where very poor run down homes were and even though the structures were minimal and some looked as if a good wind would blow them down, some had fancy cars sitting in front of them. And then where we lived with all custom homes on acre or more properties there would be cars up on jacks or run down, most likely a teen in the home’s idea of a project but odd just the same, hmm?
Teaches us something, huh?
And when I figure it out I will tell you… here’s some possibilities for an active mind checking to see if it is still working… maybe those fancy cars belonged to their drug dealers or they just needed reliable transportation to go to work? And the others with the nice homes and bad cars/rundown vehicles were actually their idea of lawn art, not a teen’s science or reconditioning project or maybe they got into the fancy home and spent all their money and they only had a little bit left for it for transportation?
You see when it comes to why people do some things it can be confusing even without cognitive or mind haze disorders, but those are my excuses and I will stick to them, ha, I think?

Pain, physical, actually does cause the mind to wander and sometimes one might wonder if it will ever comeback, kidding!
Right now my head feels as if it has backup clutter with heavy pressure, could it be the barometric pressure, ya think?
Many professionals of the medical persuasion will agree that weather does really have an affect on everything from arthritis to sinus issues, why not MS too?
The more I search for answers the more it comes back to Multiple Sclerosis, how odd.
I bet most didn’t realize how many symptoms have to do with the one disease that plagues them.
But unfortunately many ills have similar symptoms and so while trying to get diagnosed it is usually a nightmare; been there done that.

On that end to my usual verbose self expressions of nonsense let me be the first to wish you all a very happy good night and ask you kindly to count all your blessings and share those overages and we will too!

And please next time be here or be square, ya hear?

PS If I have helped one person with my somewhat overwhelming problems make theirs feel not seem as bad, then I can say I have done my job to take the weight of the world off of someone else’s shoulders, and WOW what a feeling! A two way street, I hope…one only has that, hope, you know…

Speaking My Mind: Which way will the war go?

Speaking My Mind: Which way will the war go? :   My eyesight is going again... in case you missed it... Netanyahu snaps back against growing...