Monday, May 16, 2011

Silence goes unanswered...

Have you ever felt that you held your voice/words due to a concern over retaliation when someone wronged you? And was it for fear that what you might say next would be considered argumentative or disloyal?
Sure you have!
Too many people allow others to walk all over them for years at a time; thinking is it worth the aggravation and irritation of losing that person’s loyalty or perhaps respect and friendship?
We as a race of people must realize that not everyone is going to love us no matter what at times how hard we try for that or want that!
Here’s that brave part of standing up for yourself in tight situations is a way to prove that you have the ability to like yourself! Theoretically others should follow suite.
And truthfully who would want a friend who only likes or loves you when you always yes them to death and appear to not have any desires of your own?
I don’t mean to just be ornery or difficult, but when you want or need something but feel that you might let it go since the importance based on what you would perceive as someone else’s needs to be greater than your own, I call this self imposed ‘martyr-ism.’
And I am definitely not saying to be selfish and cut in the front of the line or be annoyingly bizarre with unrealistic commands or demands, but to make sure that you too get what you rightfully should have and not be so shy about it.
In other words, no one should be capable of intimidating you!
As living two legged creatures we are all equal and thus be able to realize that equality in all areas of our lives.

Here’s a little secret…I was not always this self assured, ha!
I bet you all knew that.
In fact when I was a younger woman, not that I am that old yet, although according to the numbers games I am closing in on that last quarter…I had many people telling me what to do and I would often yes them all to death!
YEP!
Not a pretty sight, and I ran myself ragged trying to please the world!
How on earth can one person do that, I ask you? And sooner or later we all crash, and so perhaps I did…
I found myself experimenting with a small word that I seemed to have stored far back in my brain since in some cultures it was considered not much different than a curse word and definitely it is in this country… and that word was ‘NO’!
In the beginning I took it for short test drives, since it was easy in that Mommy-hood game; why even my two year old son knew that one, but I had to relearn it because it had been years since I dusted it off for major usage.
And yet, I never ever reprimanded my son for his use of the word that has the ability to stop grown men in their tracks when used properly and in context of importance.

“NO, NO, NO”, say it with me, now doesn’t that feel so much better?
But that is only half of the battle of what this forum’s topic began with; on speaking up for yourself… shucks doesn’t it go along with just saying ‘NO’ it is declaring your right to be not so compliant consistently and that you also have needs to be met by your co-workers, family and friends too! You are IMPORTANT TOO!
Say it; be proud, because you count!

One caveat though, remember at first you might find that many are shocked in outrage due to your significant change of personality of an easy going type of a person, but don’t let that stop you.

Maybe I should have said to go slow with this new you and incorporate it a little bit each day and make sure you just start with people who don’t hold your life in their hands…like the cardiac surgeon when going under for bypass or the firefighter while he/she is trying to save your home … Oh you get the idea, start small… experiment on Fido or FiFi or Tweetie, and then go up to maybe the guy doing those crazy TV commercials who yells so loud that you have to go out of the room to think straight for yourself, yes he deserves it! Just be aware of the power it all may be able theoretically capable of wielding in your life and so I would be more likely to suggest take it at a pace of about one or two 'NO s' a month for the next few years and interjecting your needs and your opinions say about every six months or so, not to rile your boss or co-workers, OK?

Now don’t be shy you can say it… go ahead come on! Say it…NO! HA! Gotcha!
Be who you truly are to yourself and your friends and family and never ever let anyone tell you differently no matter how self loving they may appear!
Nike it! The best people I have met in life are fearless to be who they are whenever they want to be.

On that crazier than usual no rhyme or reason filling the page with a ghastly waste of your time, but not mine since I love this crap!
Let me be the first to wish you all a very happy good night and to all count those blessings and share those overages and we will too!

And next time be here or be square, OK?

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