Monday, December 20, 2010

Soup

Have you ever felt that you were drowning in soup?
How odd you all say.
Well, some days that’s the way my life goes, I am pretty sure that you too have had days like that too.
Nothing goes right?
You all know what I mean.
I suppose the first question was a wee bit abstract for some to wrap their minds around; and for that I am truly sorry! If it was clear bullion soup no problem but vegetable; what a hard swim! And most of us prefer a little bit of sustenance in our broth.

But as life goes on daily and as we all know things change too daily I am hoping for tomorrow to be a better day, OK?
Am I being a little too vague this banner waver of everything personal exposed, me, huh?
I guess evasive would be more accurate.

Disagreements in life are inevitable with anyone but especially when you live day in and day out with that same person.
Whoa, you all know what I am saying is true.
Be it your perfect children or spouse there are days that not everyone can get along; it’s just human nature and if any of you think otherwise than you are living in dreamland, really! (Here’s where my friends with multiple marriages tell me oh yes you can have all days of peace! Yep and then you trade those husbands in for someone who gives you peace again, lol?) Some of the nicest people I know have been married five times!
Let’s all face the facts, we are not clones of one another if we were we would all think alike and be more boring than we already are, LOL!

Life is not for sissies!
Where have I heard that one before, LOL?
Well, it’s true nothing that we encounter in any shape or form is simple.
Being agreeable all of the time I suppose would make my life simpler, but then I would be losing my backbone just as ignorance I have been told can be bliss, who wants that?

Having individual thoughts and reasoning out those thoughts and speaking them aloud makes for a volatile situation at times, but at least NOT boring!
And my thirst for knowledge has not yet wavered.

Human nature being what it is we all must find a way to handle these glitches in our lives.
When you find out, please let me know, OK?
Not kidding.
Yes, that’s what makes everyday interesting I suspect.
Not knowing what will happen next.

Moving on…
Tomorrow marks the last one of my Cipro, my antibiotic, second round of dosing after those seventy-two hours of penicillin that didn’t work; sadly I hate to report that my gland on my left side under the oral surgery side is swelling once again!
It’s sore and I hate this.
What do I do now?
Shall I forget about it until it’s so bad like last time before Thanksgiving and waiting until after? When I tried to make it to that Monday, and didn’t?
Or think more positively and say to myself over and over again like a mantra, “it will be all better now, it will be all better now…”

Wouldn’t that be just great for ills to be mantra-ed away or positive thoughts away?
Why we would be able to cure cancer and all other ills like MS, Parkinson’s and even ALS!
That would be wonderful!

You do know that there are people that believe so strongly in the power of positive thinking that they feel that’s all there is to it!
Some even practice denial and that works for them, how marvelous I say!
Homeopathy works for others.

Clarity is in the mode of thought one has within their own perception of things in life, and who am I to disagree with their logic when it works for them.
And so being in a cloudy or lumpy soup is not helpful, metaphorically speaking that is.
How I don’t want to be opaque; I need to know how to do things for myself just in case.
I have already been doing all seven shots a week for myself for the last week or more.
To be honest it is one of those things that give me a feeling of independence more than I have had in the last few years.
I have turned into a too needy and dependent a person and it is one of my negative attributes that I so hate.
It is so unlike the young woman I vaguely remember well into my forties and fifties too…sadly its just a ghostly image of the old me.
So much of me has been lost these last few years, and I want to think of a plan to return some of the old me to me…
Yes, I did have a plan to start working out but apparently the person I thought would help me never called back and I called her too many times that I was afraid I would be considered an annoyance. And the other possibility was well within my reach but unfortunately the one side effect of the Cipro is that it seems to have some negative affects on your tendons and with all my problems I decided it would be more beneficial to start any program after it was all done with.
And this is where I now sit, I would have said stand if that was what I was doing but I am sitting.

Any-who, I think I may give it a go myself with all my background in dance and race walking and those four years at the gym, why not I say?
Nothing to lose no monies wasted and if its time I am worried about nah, I have plenty.

A new chapter begins, a new day will start and a resurgence of a desire to find where I lost me, and try my darndest to find her or is that me too?

On those promissory notes to myself I want to wish you all a very happy good night and to all count those blessings and share those overages and we will too!

And next time please be here or be square, OK?

Which way will the war go?

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