Sunday, October 31, 2010

BOO!

Now that we got that out of the way, what can I say?
How many of you out there are going trick or treating?
Or should I ask going to a Halloween party?
Or taking your children or grandkids out for their little sweet fix for the year?

I can hear you all, but please folks stop talking all at once!
One at a time please.

Halloween is a time for families with small children to go out together into their neighborhood and see which neighbor spends the most on the really good stuff, and to note it, write it down specifically which house and what kind of candy for next year.
Kidding! Well, maybe not, but I won’t tell…
But to be serious it is the best time of year to get closer with those little rag-a-muffin kidlings that reside in your home 365 days each and every year until hopefully they turn eighteen and go to college or get a job or move in with their significant other… sorry! I get carried away sometimes…!
Teaching your offspring to say trick or treat while opening their candy bag, one that should be the size of a king size pillow case, by the by, for sharing purposes of course with Mom and Dad and Granny and Pop-pop!

Now, this is important so listen carefully: do not allow those kiddies to taste any of their bounty until you go through all of it once safe at home; you hear me? (I am yelling loudly!)

Some hospitals do still X-ray the candy to protect the chillums from razor blades or other horrendous things too scary for anyone to think about that some nut may have put in it to who knows why, but they are definitely crazy as jailbirds!
That makes me so angry, now why would anyone do such a thing?
Isn’t that why the almighty took upon him/her self to make people to make X-Ray machines, now I ask you?
Any-who…
Costumes, sorry I forgot to tell you that small children should wear make-up not masks since masks can cause them not to see where they are going, for that matter neither should older children wear them; why? I will tell you why… they can fall over their eyes too and not allow them to see where they want to go!
That does it, no masks for anyone!
Make-up for all children and costumes that are not too long or cumbersome since they can cause a small child to trip into traffic and then OMG, they could get hurt or worse dare I say end up in the hospital because some drunken parent might not see them wandering around in the street with a large group with their flashlight down towards the ground! Same should go for the elder child with my same reasoning.
And hold those torches high and strait ahead! (Author’s note, for people who don’t know what a torch is: it is the UK equivalent to a flashlight, got it?)

I don’t want to hear that any children were harmed in anyway during this joyous occasion, and so all now go out and have the time of your lives with care and the loving concern of dear Auntie Tobi.

Happy night to all you little gremlins and bigger ones and do what you were made by the almighty to do, have a HELL OF A GOOD TIME TONIGHT!

And count all those blessings the lot of you and share those overages and we will too!

Next time be here or be square, OK?

And don’t forget to share some of that bounty too… this way the elders will be able to keep up with you all as you bounce from one wall to the other! LOL!

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