Sunday, July 25, 2010

Being me has become simpler than ever before, but...my rant!

Is there anyone out there who wouldn’t want an uncomplicated life?
I ask all of you, seriously.
The reason I am saying this is because for the first time in my life I am able to do what I want when I want to without anyone telling me not to.

At different times in my life I was juggling too many things but some how they always turned out just right or pretty OK.
Been there, done that has become a familiar lament of late.
Boy, it makes me angry though when others seem to know what’s better for you and they don’t even know you at all!

You see when I was able to I did it all, from working a ninety-six hour week, drove three thousand miles a month while raising two teenagers while they were in college and their father too.
You know we all worked actually Hubby and our sons through school and me too when I went.
But they did work part-time at those times as we all did.

When I became a bum, so to speak from my illnesses I became a board member of a non-profit, a fundraiser for them, a certified Acquacize instructor and co-president of the local support group, an advocate, went for training to teach a self help group and this was all as a volunteer! I have seven types of arthritis out of one hundred different types, as well as Multiple Sclerosis and more than likely that periodic altruism, which I even became Volunteer of the year in 2000, caused me to not get disability coverage, but then we were very well insured by Hubby’s job.

I went to the organizations that I helped when I was a volunteer because about two years ago I was told not to walk anymore with my Ataxia, numbness in my legs, since my hips now have osteoarthritis and I need to have them replaced, but duh I have no insurance, any-who I needed a mobility scooter and both organizations told me all monies go to research and programs to educate not for such things like that!
I’m too young for Medicare and with too much income for Medicaid, and too pre-existing for insurance and so now what?
Sympathy only seems to come to those who are terminally ill and rightfully should.
And children have fund raisers for them when they need surgeries medical attention or whatever, and St. Jude’s.
What happens to the rest of us?
We take advantage of the system however we can if we know how to, which is a learning process.
Knowledge is power and my unwieldy attitude into research for my own needs has become my latest, for the last four years since I have not had insurance, full-time job folks!
And so when I tell people on this Blog about some available medical care I am sharing that with you all, not trying to get away with anything, which sounds and feels dirty to me!
Although, getting free anything still doesn’t fit my nature right.
It’s an adjustment like anything else.

Perhaps an analogy would be almost like, ‘empty nest syndrome’, in reverse.
You have had these little people depending on you all of their lives and then all of a sudden they don’t need you anymore, because you raised them right to be independent capable human beings? It hurts but you have to let go.
Well, now it’s more like you had all this care of your needs taken care of and now its’ not there anymore, but you need it more than ever, does that make any sense?
Maybe yes, maybe no, who knows?

Financially we pay, as I said all our bills on time, and we have this adorable accessible house that I love with a pool, fish pond, docks and boats and all…

PS world… by the time I was nineteen I had already been to eight countries, seven of them in Europe and forty of these United States, even got lost in London at one A.M., and owned with my husband three businesses. I have been on TV and radio, and have been interviewed by major newspapers. Worked with big stars in movies and MTV, and helped to make a music video and worked with NASCAR, Hawaiian Tropic, MTV and the like, not too bad, eh?

And so as I said before now is the time to simplify and so I have and you world…I am not thumbing my nose but I wish that everyone would just understand that we all have to do what we have to do to continue in this life and beyond!

And I am just plumb tuckered out friends but doing things in my own slow-mo way these days as I told you before I used to be a ‘dynamo’ and now I am a ‘slow-mo’ and there is no shame in that!

Life goes on but pacing ones self my change in tempo but no one should be denied that right to set their own beat!

Good night to all and to all count those blessings and we will too!

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