Saturday, January 2, 2010

Cold and colder...

Our weather is dipping into, dare I say, the thirties tonight!
And we are taking appropriate action to protect our crops!
Hubby built a frame out of PVC pipe, and will put the coverings on that, well I meant Hubby is. I am no help at all on this type of project, due to my inability to stay upright when the task calls for it; balance issues, Ataxia.
And this concludes the cold part of tonight’s Blog.

Now for the colder part…my uncle passed away on New Year’s Eve,(here in Florida my cousin moved him here, two blocks from him, on December 11th) sad but he was 94, and had a heart attack recently. The colder part is the way I was told, by email!
And this from my cousin just a half hour away in Venice, he’s the teacher I speak about often, and what is worst, the funeral is just for the immediate family.
I wasn’t quite clear on the actual meaning of that all these years, but I did finally look it up: immediate family:
“ A spouse, parents and grand parents, children and grand children, brothers and sisters, mother in law and father in law, brothers in law and sisters in law, daughters in law and sons in law. Adopted and step members are also included in immediate family. See also first degree relative.” Thanks to the Business dictionary.

And so me being me, I remembered what had occurred when my Mom died way back in 1982 when I was just 31, February 15th, and before email, and so I called her brothers in Las Vegas to notify them.
We even delayed her burial a day to make sure that they would be there, but they both were no shows, how sad, but over a thousand people were, since my parents lived in a retirement village at the time. And today I had no chance to be a no show, since I was NOT immediate family, just a niece. What would any of you do in this situation?
Well to me it was a no brainer… email deserves email returned, and so I wrote an email note of condolence.

Dear Cous:

For your sake I am truly sorry for your loss of your father, at 94.
Unfortunately, I suppose all that goes through my mind now is that when I called him to tell him that his sister, my Mom, died at age 70, and I was only 31 at that time, when I called him, and his reaction was hard to understand.
We held up the funeral for an entire day thinking that he and Uncle B---. Would be there, but they were both a no show, (literally over a thousand people did show up, family and friends, friends were from their retirement village, thus the enormous turnout) and so I do somewhat understand why you are having just your immediate family.
At first I thought you were quite cold telling me such news online, but I do understand your grief, and your way of handling things.
Who knows if I would have not done the same thing if my parents had died in this era, not as they did in 1982 and 1986?
Please with the utmost sincerity accept our deepest sympathy to you, T-- and R-----, and all else who loved and cared deeply for him.
And yes I do remember how you and Y made up for your Dad's not coming to my Mom's funeral and for that I have always been grateful! Thank you both!

With love and caring,
T


I know cold and heartless maybe too?
I guess that’s two less relatives for me, huh?
I really hope not, but he is a man (my cousin) and is 66 years old, you would think he could have called!
I called him when I found out about my brother and niece dying.
Oh, who knows…?
I thought we were family, but I guess not.

Not a good start for the New Year after all.
I loved my cousins but I guess they don’t feel the same.

Good night.

Which way will the war go?

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