Friday, December 25, 2009

Today was Christmas...

But you know the expression that “every day seems just like the other”; well that was what today was like, on of all days, Christmas!
Sadly, days are gone with the big family gatherings, and children running around.
How I so wished for the next generation of that, but it did not happen.
No; not at all.

Our number one son, the eldest has a new girlfriend for nearly a year now that doesn’t seem at all interested in the family thing, since we have still not met her! All of his previous amours we have been able to meet and we included in all things family, but not this one…
And you all know about our estrangement from our youngest, his idea totally; not ours!

Other family is scattered hither and yon; from literally one coast of the country to the other, but you too have been told of them and if we lived closer who knows if that relationship would be one of closeness; I’m not going to fool myself, probably not.
And most all of mine is dead.

So now I can see why so many feel sad at this time of he year; it is a given.
When Hubby worked and if I knew I would be alone, which would be often since he was nice to cover for the young deputies so they could spend the time with their families, I would volunteer and serve Christmas, Thanksgiving or Easter dinners at a local church, and feel very useful and happy that I could help.
But now I don’t have that option, since I can’t get around so well on my own, and I don’t drive anymore so there is more time to pine away the miserable lonely hours even with Hubby here who appears to not mind the less crowded rooms in our home, but I miss it, badly. I was rather a social butterfly in my day.

I do like being with other people and chatting up a storm, but Hubby not so much.
We were invited to our neighbors across the canal, but I am struggling with the after affects of one heck of a very sleepless night. It was after four A.M. when I finally closed my peepers. But this time not totally due to a painful night…I stupidly made myself a mocha hot chocolate using caffeinated coffee at about three thirty yesterday afternoon, and caffeine has this awful affect on me…and so I was up all night!
The results of one sleepless night I am paying for with exhaustion, pain, and irritability, which sadly to say Hubby reacts to just as irritably, and so we had many arguments today, and so neither of us would make good company for anyone not even ourselves.

I did try to nap, and just before writing this I also tried to go to bed, actually at this early hour I am dressed for it, but oddly enough it seems I am what they call overtired, is that too an oxymoron? Because now I cannot even lie down without my body screaming no!

And so I thought writing this now would help, but it hasn’t, and I don’t know what to do…I hope I have not acquired an irreversible sleep pattern, only time will tell…

Oh well… Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Speaking My Mind: Which way will the war go?

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