Of course we all know that it is Groundhog Day on the 2nd and Black History Month all month long, Valentine's Day on the 14th and Presidents' Day whenever it falls. Actually, today would have been Abraham Lincoln's birthday his two hundredth and George Washington's is in reality on February 22nd.
But for us it is even more personal.
For us it is a happy and sad and mournful month for us.
We have a son that was born thirty-three years ago yesterday after only four hours and twenty minutes of labor at 5:05 A.M. also on a Wednesday who we do love very much but beyond any right or reasoning has chosen to be estranged from us, not our decision, but his, and right now none of our family has had any contact with him or even know his phone number or his address, and this makes me so very, very sad as his mother.
Saturday, is the holiday for lovers and our 38th anniversary, yes we were married February 14th 1971, wow how time flies.
And Sunday the day after is the mournful day of another anniversary the day my Mother passed away in 1982, my goodness that’s twenty seven years ago!
But on Monday Presidents’ Day is my husband brother’s birthday, on the 22nd of this month would have been my Mother’s birthday, but now our nephew has that date and so that explains our interesting February.
I’m sure many can relate to those previous paragraphs we have all had dates that mean so much more to us than just another day.
Perhaps that is why I discussed anything but my memories yesterday, an avoidance of not being able to wish my child a happy birthday, which fills my heart with misery just thinking about it.
Now why should I have discussed readers and the numbers of who those people might be was definitely another way to circumvent my issues, which is why I started this Blog to begin with, to have a venue to say what was on my mind.
Although, it is a pleasant thought to know that I have somewhat of a following I would be lying if I didn’t admit to that.
Children are a joy and a trying part of ones life, but worth all that it entails to make them grown into independent capable adult people.
But when your efforts for some unknown reason cause one of your only two children to not love you or want any part of you that can only be compared to a death or at the very least a broken heart.
Sadly, the one son that has been there for us always at times I think feels slighted since I don’t think I have ever ended a conversation without mentioning or asking if he heard from his brother.
They had been close, but now for their own reasons are not.
And so they have no real connection either, which creates more sadness in me.
Everyone needs some family if for no other reason than to know who you really are and to have that unconditional love, which I feel equally for my children, men.
No one tells you when you’re expecting that the next forever time will be in any certain way, but we all hope and pray that our healthy babies will be brilliant, handsome or beautiful, happy, and succeed in whatever they choose to do with their lives.
But not once did I ever think I would lose the love of one of mine.
I am crying now since this is just too much for me to continue…
But as I tell all of you count your blessings and that’s what I will do too.
Good night to all and to all kiss those babies!
Speaking My Mind is about: Tobi, who is a middle aged, no, oh all right a slightly over the hill woman with all the imperfections that go with that, and this concerns her daily life's perceptions and experiences.
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