Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tonight I answer my own questions with a little research

Merriam Webster’s Dictionary definitions of:
Acquaintance:
Results 1-1 of 1 | more
1) Knowledge gained by personal experience, such as: Tiffany’s acquaintance with cows is limited to a visit to a petting zoo when she was three
Synonyms: cognizance, familiarity
Related Words: association, experience, exposure, intimacy, involvement; initiation, introduction; awareness, comprehension, conception, inkling, notion, understanding; education, enlightenment, grounding, information, instruction, learning, schooling, training
Near Antonyms: callowness, greenness, ignorance, inexperience
Antonyms: unfamiliarity

Friend: Results 1-2 of 2 | more
1) A person who has a strong liking for and trust in: another really close friends who like to do everything together and are always sharing secrets
Synonyms: buddy, chum, comrade, confidant, crony, familiar, intimate, pal
Related Words: acquaintance; associate, cohort, colleague, companion, fellow, hearty, hobnobber, mate, partner, peer; brother, sister; accomplice, ally, collaborator, confederate; benefactor, supporter, sympathizer, well-wisher; friendly
Near Antonyms: adversary, antagonist, opponent, rival; archenemy, nemesis
Antonyms: enemy, foe

2) A person who actively supports or favors a cause such as: hopes that the new governor will be a friend to environmental causes - see exponent


Now this is not that confusing; is it? Then how come I didn't know until just now that most of the people over the years that have touched my life in some way or another have mostly been acquaintances? Is this just sad or foolish of me?
I truly believed that I had people that had my back so to speak.
You know what I mean when all goes wrong in life they were there for me to vent to complain to and just support my decisions and ideas or just hear me cry; does anybody really have someone that wants to hear that?
Even spouses realistically don’t want to know that.

And so here I am with my own 21st Century venting, complaining listening machine, but I have not been getting any feedback and that might be a little more helpful or not. Just writing my thoughts down in black and white does put some things in perspective.

It’s hard to be a human being in the times we live in since almost everyone you know has some sort of problem, and of course theirs is worse than yours when you think of it by their viewpoint, right? Yes, it does seem that way, and so helping others worse off than yourself has always been the best way for me personally to help myself by helping others but now I can’t. You see physically I am unable to due to my medical difficulties.
I guess that I am virtually up a creek without a paddle; and that is not at all a very nice feeling.
So here I sit writing about my wishes and desires.
When in previous days I was able to cure their ills as well as my own.
I did try to touch others in a good way with helping as I could when I could.
Dwelling on negativity the professionals say is not productive.
So I will not get specific here, but I was very disappointed in many people in my recent past that I thought were friends, but apparently proved to be just acquaintances.

You know when you feel like someone was supposed to have your back, be there, in a hard upsetting situation and they fizzled in that respect, and euphemistically dropped the ball so to speak? What a disappointment. Sadly when this happens you feel you will never let anyone in that close to you ever again and trust becomes an extremely big issue with anyone too anxious to show camaraderie or the desire to be the so-called, ‘friend’; I really though that I left that type of uncertainty back in my childhood.

Growing old is definitely not for sissies.
But old is what I hoped I would always get, since the alternative to not getting old, is dead.
I used to tell the seniors that I taught that I will get old if I am lucky.
Well, guess what I am on my way!
And so I will suck it up and be brave and try harder to not let a little thing like not having any true friends not bother me anymore, OK? Actually my husband is my best friend, as corny as that sounds, it is true.
And take hold of my own self as a plus for leaning on, and give myself a good talking to when necessary to straighten me out, and laugh in the face of incapability’s and count all my still have abilities.

I have seen thousands doing that on so many TV programs with heroes and survivors of all sorts of horrid life’s tests, and they get along just fine with their own strengths.
So that is what I will do.
You see I just gave myself a really good talking to, a pep talk so to write, and it is slowly working…I guess.

I will try harder to be a better person and discuss my non short comings, and find many life’s options for interests to be a daily research project that will make me more interesting, I hope.

Good night to all and to all… if you play it right you can be your own best friend.
If not try to see what an acquaintance might have to offer, keep an open mind.

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