Wednesday, November 15, 2017

You know how you know you should feel something?

                                                               
           

Feelings are sad when any family member passes, no doubt about that!
Rocky roads of decades to have fixes or failures and friends and foes, family or estranged family, trying and giving up, realizing that sometimes you have no other choice.
Although, you cannot change the fact that you are related, whether by marriage or blood... FAMILY can make you joyful, overwhelmed or incensed, such is life of decades of how it could/might be?

My parents both passed away way long ago in 1982 and 1986, Mom first a week before her seventy-first birthday, and with her no matter how angry we made each other within hours we would make up and we were so very close and spoke daily on the phone, I miss her still.
Dad too was a forgiving doll and never ever let anything fester for long even if it was way crazy, as a teen as I could be, but I always knew that he too loved me, he died at seventy-nine, back in 1986.
I truly had their unconditional love, and so did Hubby from them.

Hubby on the other hand did not have it as easy.
And his parents came with conditions to their love, and so in many ways this meant there would be highs and lows to his and therefore my relationships with them.
Foolishly, in the beginning I tried to be miss fix it, and tried to encourage overlooking harsh realities of how they were.
Condemning us for not doing things religious wise as they would have preferred.

Hubby and I were raised in two different, very different religions, and though my parents never interfered in how or in what religion we should raise our sons, at first Hubby's Mom had.
Though, after a while she respected our feelings and we chose to raises them as heathens, ha! 
Yes, without formal religious training but knowledge of their roots of their families heritages.
As adults they found their own ways and are happy with that freedom of nothing being shoved down their throats; thank you very much!

Over the years my MIL, Mother-in-law who showed me much love and compassion even calling me more like a daughter than a daughter- in- law!
We showed her a wonderful time whenever she visited us, and for that she did seem very happy!
Even when she started to lose herself from dementia she seemed to reach out to her middle child, my Hubby with moments of rational thinking.
She even cut from the newspaper something that she had difficulty verbalizing... a picture that spoke volumes of what she herself was unable to enunciate. What it says is, "From the Heart, I love you." Written in the sand.

This woman who gave Hubby, his sister and his brother their lives as well as sadness and strife and perhaps many times over also much joy, passed away yesterday peacefully in her sleep somewhere in a Pennsylvania nursing home or a hospital after having unsuccessful surgery for a blood clot at the very good age of ninety-six, not far from her ninety-seventh birthday this coming January 17th.

Mom farewell, knowing you for me has been if nothing else interesting, heart-stopping, infuriating, loving, and at times rewarding and you allowed your middle child and myself to say good-bye to the most of the old you before you were totally lost to us forever, and for that I thank you.

A church going woman who volunteered with the church and never said no to helping elderly friends when a younger woman.

Mom leaves in her life's wake, three adult married children, eight grandchildren, six or more great grandchildren, (sorry lost count) so in a way she will always live on...as all families do!

Adelaide Kruegel 1/17/21-11/14/17, may she rest in peace, she will be sorely missed by many.
Me included.
To be factual, Mom hasn't been Mom since before 2010, due to dementia, sadly then we had to say good-bye.

Odd notification from an unusual family, sister in PA calls eldest brother in WA, eldest brother notifies middle son/child in FL via email.
One grandson, son of middle son, visiting is told in person, youngest son somewhere in Fl also told via email, that he hates for this sort of thing, but again no choice no other way.
And the sad legacy continues...!

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