Saturday, August 10, 2013

They're back...!



Last night and a bit of today on and off was like a rerun of months ago when I had needed an increase in my Gabapentin, used in my case for my Multiple Sclerosis’s very bad spasms, but I am still determined to wean myself off of it altogether!

You see, I had insomnia last night, an old, not friend but enemy of mine due to having over-thinking and a bit of a nightmare, sadly I can’t remember it the nightmare that is, (It might have made a fascinating short story.). Any-who, I was up at 1:31 A.M., but I forced myself to return to bed and sleep by 3:05 A.M. telling myself that I had nothing to do, which at that point I had turned this techno marvel back on and checked my email and my Facebook page and even Googled to find out if this was a side effect of the withdrawal … and the crazy part is I had even had a cup of coffee that I instinctively have whenever I awake!
Being stern with me, in my silent inner self-talk within my mind; and you know what?
It worked!
Next thing I knew, it was 7:50 A.M.!
Self control is a wonderful thing!

In the article that I found, in those wee hours, was beneficial in the respect that I found out what I might expect with doing diligently step down from a major medication that it called addictive, although not a narcotic. I also was able to glean from it in some ways it is used as an anti-anxiety medication for people returning from war zones, it did not say PTSD but it did seem that was implied, as well as of its usual uses for neuropathic pain as well as spasms, as for my use, and of course its original use for epileptic seizures. The problem was it made its point with insightful fear of your involvement with this ‘drug’, and the side effects were plentiful!
At least now I know why my sinus issue seemed to be enhanced and congestion was rampant too; in spite of the fact that I am still taking the Singulair!

Today was another apparition from my past as well, my spasms were gyrating me as if they never lost a step from my old nasty dance routine called MS needs to remind you its there, but sadly this one was not from my old dancing school days as a child, but from my days before the Gabapentin was added into my mix of too many meds!

It is true, my insomnia had lessened to once in a blue moon and my spasms although still around their violence had relented and; instead of being loudly bombastic in nature they were becoming quieter, subtle like gentle blips of a memory… until today!
Dejevu in a terrible way, but I am trying to be strong, stronger…I need alternatives, ideas. I NEED TO NOT GO BACKWARDS AND CONTINUE FORWARDS ON MY DIMINISHING OF MEDICATION RELIANCE!

My left side appears to be the one that was talking the most today; from that side of my back down to my leg and toes were all doing a one sided tarantella as well as my spilling of my V8 beverage that I enhance with lemon juice and hot sauce bounced by my hand letting go... all over the white tile kitchen floors and white cabinets… who needs murder mysteries every-time I spill its usually bloody red! That's why I try to drink water or club soda more often...Hubby kindly, as usual, cleaned it up, but not before Skipper seemed to lick up one area nearby the fridge where it was seeping under! Yep, Hubby cleaned under there too as well as the grate there and vacuumed the dust too, so not all bad after all, KIDDING!

Sure I still spill a few times a week, but that is not that often as previously, and when I try to enter my pin number for a sale with my debit card, my fingers jump those additional little staccatos causing foreign numbers that I have to cancel and begin again a few times…

But isn’t that the way with MS?
At least I no longer walk as if I am drunk; thanks to using a wheelchair, no one can tell! That was an odd statement, but true too…
Being half blind I don’t use my scooter out for the last several months, since I was dangerous bumping into too many things perception is off and then sometimes my good eye lefty misbehaves like yesterday and gave me double the fun. Since I am not doing Double-mint gum commercials it was not a welcomed concept that is seeing double like in duplicity, my sight that is.

Oh well, MS may never go away, until ‘they’ find a cure, ya know I have been waiting since I was diagnosed with Relapsing Remitting in 2006, that is waiting for that remitting thingy that hasn’t surfaced since then…oh well…

On that self indulgent note of who knows what (I do, I do, a cry for help! Damn that self-talk, did I say that out loud, again? LOL!) allow me to be the very first to wish all of you a very happy good night and let me kindly ask you also to count all your blessings and share all your overages with you know who and we will too!

And next time please be here or be square, ya hear!

Speaking My Mind: Which way will the war go?

Speaking My Mind: Which way will the war go? :   My eyesight is going again... in case you missed it... Netanyahu snaps back against growing...